Ninjago crack book

Incorrect quotes to start off

These will feature Lloyd, Kai, Jay, Zane, Cole, Nya, Dareth and Pixal, just FYI. Welp enjoy! 

~

Cole, watching Jay do something stupid: Kai, you're officially only the second highest risk here.

Kai: Hell yeah! I'm gonna—

Cole: Don't finish that sentence, you'll move back up.

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Pixal: Did you have to stab them?

Nya: You weren't there. You didn't hear what they said to me.

Pixal: What did they say?

Nya: "What are you going to do, stab me?"

Pixal: That's fair.

~

Kai: I don't remember that.

Cole: Do you remember that night last week when you slept in a revolving door?

Kai: ...No.

Cole: Okay, do you remember when you were chased by those wild dogs for two miles?

Kai: Not especially, no.

Cole: It was in between those two things.

~

Dareth: I have one brain cell and it bounces around in my skull like a windows screen saver.

Dareth: When it hits a corner perfect, I'm allowed one good idea.

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*Jay and Cole are cuddling*

Jay: Tell me something I don't know about you.

Cole: *leans in to whisper in Jay's ear, voice deep and sensual* I like Japanese food so much that every time I watch Lord of the Rings and see Gollum eating the raw fish, my mouth waters.

Jay:

Jay:

Jay: I meant like your favorite color, but okay.

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Dareth: I'm the smartest, wisest person in this group.

Cole: Really? Then why is your hand stuck in a vending machine?

Dareth: I paid for my Mars Bar, I'm getting my Mars Bar.

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Zane: We need a plan to beat them.

Dareth: Okay, listen up. First, we fill their shoes with wet cat food.

Zane:

Dareth: Judge me all you want, I get results.

~

*The Squad is at Lloyd's house*

Kai: Ohhhh we each get our own oven?

Lloyd: ...N-No...

Lloyd, laughing: How many ovens do you think I have???

Kai, motioning to the kitchen: Three, I thought!

Cole: I see a-

Lloyd, motioning to one device: This is a microwave.

Kai: Oh, well I-

Lloyd: Hey, wait wait, actually- hang on- *fiddles with the buttons on the microwave*

Lloyd, amazed: Its got a bake setting!

Jay: Ohoho, you learn something new every day!

Nya: Do we- Do we roshambo for who gets to pick first?