The Fire Family - 911 Lone Star Fanfic

Urges

What the heck am I gonna do for 2 months. I can't just sit here doing nothing. I'll go crazy. "Hey, heard you were awake," Owen says. "How did you guys get here so fast?" Tk asks. "We used the truck," Judd says. I'm in so much pain right now.. yet I don't care.. I feel.. the best I've felt in years.. since.. she was alive.. "126 respond..." a voice says. "Oh, we gotta go, we'll be back after shift," Owen says. They all run out. "What are you doing? Go with them," I say to Tk. "You sure?" He asks. "100%," I say. He runs.

I lay there. I'm in so much freaking pain. I don't know how much longer I can deal with this. It hurts to breathe. Everything hurts. I can't do this anymore. The nurse comes in with a pill and water. "For the pain," she says. Should I do this? I've worked so hard. But the urge is so big. It hurts so bad.

[Switching to Tk's pov]

I just lost this kid. It hurts. So badly. It's part of the job, I know that. The urges are starting again. I can't tell anyone. We're all too worried about yn already. It's like something is crawling on my skin. I start to scratch my arm. I look over at the ambulance. Nobody's in there. They wouldn't know if I just took one. But.. I've worked so hard for my sobriety.. it just.. hurts.. "Hey, you okay?" Nancy asks. "Yeah," I say with a weak smile. The last hour of the shift is so slow. I'm the first one there. She's lying there. There's water and pills on the floor. I go back out and meet the others. "Hey guys, can you maybe come back a little later?" I ask. "What? Why?" Judd asks. "Because.. right now, she doesn't need everyone crowding around her," I say. Dad understands and nods. "Let's go, guys," he says. They all leave. I walk into her room. "Hey," I say. "Oh, uh, hey," she says with an obviously fake smile. I close the door. "Where is everyone else?" She asks. I sit in the chair. "I told them to come back later," I say. "Oh.." She says. She looks down. "I'm proud of you," I say. She looks up at me. "For what?" She asks. "For fighting the urges," I say with a smile, looking at the pills. "Oh.. yeah.." She says, following my gaze. "So, you're having the urges too, I'm guessing?" She asks. I look up. "Yeah, I lost a kid on that call," I say quietly. "I know it's a part of the job. But..." I stop talking. "It hurts?" She continues. "Yeah.. I've never had anyone to actually talk to that understood," I say. "Me neither. I've met people at rehab, but none of them actually wanted to be there," she says. "I'll be right back. Stay here," I say, standing up. "I don't have much of a choice," she says with a laugh. I laugh and walk out.