Desirable (mxm)

eleven; physical connection

Reign sniffles with her head buried inside my chest and I hate myself for making her cry but she has to know how I feel–how we all feel. "I'm sorry," she whimpers through a sob. "I didn't want to worry you."

I shake my head and pull away slowly, but keeping her close. "Don't apologise. I understand it's hard to grasp your emotions. I just don't want you to feel alone like that. We're all here for you, even if we make mistakes too."

She nods at me, tears down her pinky cheeks. I glance over her shoulder at Everett and his eyes watch me carefully. He doesn't say anything but I know he's thanking me inside his head, with the way I am with his mate because she's my family member too. And I treasure her to death.

"Thank you," she whispers, bringing my attention back to her.

I smile again and lean forward to leave a lingering kiss on the tip of her head, strands of hair tickling my nose. "I'll leave you guys to it before he tears my head off for interrupting your time," I laugh. Even though he's grateful for my appearance, I know Everett wants me to leave so he can have quality time with his mate.

Anyone would after they left for a whole month. They've got a lot to make up for.

"Wait," Reign takes my wrist and stares up at me with her crystal blue eyes. "We have so much to catch up on. You need to tell me all about Nate and everything that has happened with him. If you want to."

My heart aches knowing that she cares this much. She's probably been through hell and back and she still wants to know about my business. "I'll tell you all, Reign," I speak softly. "But first you need your mate, he needs you too. We can talk tomorrow. You're too sweet for this world, and I am so grateful you're my brother's mate."

She releases my wrist and she beams at me with an innocent smile. "Okay. Of course."

"Sleep well," I nod before glancing at my brother. "See you tomorrow, bro."

Everett nods back in my direction and I leave them to it in the living room.

A part of my soul patches up a little knowing that she's safe and back in all of our lives.

♥

When I wake up the next morning I feel a little lighter, though my anxiety lingers–it never goes away–I know I have a session today with Layla. At first I was fearful of going to therapy but now I've had a few sessions, it's truly helped me to understand myself.

Before I thought therapy would be a waste of time but now I realise it's vital to my recovery. I feel more dedicated than ever, especially now things with Nate seem like they're on the up.

Not perfect but we're getting there. Step by step. As long as it's going upwards, I don't care. Progress is still progress and Layla tells me that each week with my therapy.

This week she helps me through my coping mechanisms and the homework she set me.

At the end of the session she asks me about my struggles with my anxiety and if I ever feel urges to continue having sex with strangers at parties. I guess that urge is always there, she said I shouldn't be ashamed of it but it's something to be aware of.

I tell her the pattern that my anxiety comes in and she asks me more about my relationship with Nate. Layla mentions medication again and says that it might help with my underlying anxiety and could help my urges to subside, whilst I get myself back on my feet.

Once I feel like I no longer crave the attention of another male and sex, that's when I should begin to taper off them with my new mechanisms and forward thinking intact.