Open up your heart, It's gonna be alright (Spider-Man: Beyond the Spiderverse)

Chapter 9- Spider Warriors, Reunite!

" Alrighty then." Her older variant explained " Just give me an hour or two and we should be able to get this baby running."

" Wait a minute—What!! That's way to long! I don't know how much time I have left before his canon event happens! Can't we just speed up the process!" Gwen told her as she followed her inside the building.

" Relax other me, I'm sure your Miles and his friends could handle it. For now, we need to worry about getting you back safely." The older Gwen tried reassuring her.

" I don't care about that! I need to get back into the fight!" Gwen didn't mean to shout, but time was at the essence here. She rushes over to the machine trying to work her way around it to get it started" He needs my help! I can't just sit here doing nothing while he's out there fighting against Spot and Miguel!" Gwen growled in annoyance seeing how the machine wasn't responding to anything she did.

" Come on! Why won't this thing work already!!"

Her old variant sees how stressed her younger variant was as she tries to tries to help her ease her stress.

" Take it easy. We'll figure something out."

" How can I take it easy when I'm the reason he's in the mess in the first place!!"Gwen faced her in a state of guilt and anger towards herself as she continued to rant. " How can I rest knowing that I lead Miguel right to him! After I had just made up with him after I lied and betrayed him when he needed me most! Literally all I've done to help him just make things worse!"

Her older variant walks over to her before she places her hand on her shoulder as Gwen stops what she's doing to turn back to her with a sorrowful gaze.

" I just so tired of messing things up." Gwen muttered, her eyes becoming watery as she frowned.

" But your trying now aren't you? Your doing what you can to fix the wrongs you made. I'm sure your friend appreciates that now." Her older variant tells her.

" But it doesn't fix what I did to him. I knew that his dad was gonna die yet I didn't say anything. I didn't even tell him that he was the original anomaly that everyone in the society despised. I kept so many things from him because I didn't want to hurt him. But I did."

" Were you able to talk about it with him?"

" We did. He told me he forgave me but needed some time off once this was over. I promised I would wait for him whenever he was ready to see me again but..."

" You're afraid he might change his mind and move on."

Gwen nods her head slowly, letting the tears from her water eyes drip down her cheek.

" Gwen..."

" But why should I complain, right? All I've ever done was hurt him. Why would he want to keep contact with someone like me after everything I've done."

Gwen uses her hand to rub her other arm." I don't deserve his kindness. His compassion. His love. I don't even deserve to be his friend. I'm nothing but a huge disappointment to him."

" Maybe he should just cut ties with me and find someone better to be around."

Her older variant just stared at her before sighing. " I think I see the problem here. You're overthinking things. Your making up scenarios in your head when they aren't actually true. All he's asking is some time alone to reflect on things. You said it yourself that he had forgiven you already. Now all that's left is for you to forgive yourself."