Shots Fired (Jeremiah Fisher)

Confusion

• June 10th •

I miss dancing.

I hadn't danced since I was home and with all the stress of the past few days, I needed an outlet. It was the next day and Susannah had asked me to sit for my portrait. She'd decided to paint all the kids and I was up next.

We went all the way to the beach for it. It probably wasn't wise to wear my deb dress to the beach, but Susannah claimed that she would get it dry cleaned for me.

I stood with a blank face as Susannah painted me with the ocean behind me.

I could remember being a kid and teaching myself how to dance while Susannah peacefully painted and would call out compliments on my form and my moves. I'd spent so much time with her, it felt like she was another parent to me.

Some of my best memories are of her and my mom watching us 3 kids play while they sat and sipped coffee or watched movies together. My heart warmed at the thought of Susannah and how she'd become like family when we met in Highland.

"Whatcha thinking about, kiddo?" She asked with a curious smile.

"I was thinking about dancing, but then I started to think about my favorite memories in Highland." I told her truthfully.

"Remember when you and Jeremiah stole all the marshmallows from the cabinet and tried to make a super s'more?" She giggled.

I embarrassingly remembered being 8 and deciding with Jeremiah to try to expand all the marshmallows so that we could eat all at once. My mom and Susannah had to pay for a new microwave after that.

"Of course, I remember and I still stand by my point that it was Jeremiah's idea."

Her smile faltered a bit, but remained, only smaller. "I miss you and the boys being kids. You 3 were inseparable, you barely wanted to go to the restroom without each other."

I missed it too. Before feelings and growing up got in the way, when I came to Highland I always had my two best friends with me always.

Things would never be the same.

"Me too." I said solemnly and noticed her mood only seem to worsen. I didn't want to watch Susannah become sad because I wasn't talking to her son anymore so I changed the subject.

"Suz, do you know any dance studios around here that'll take me on?" I asked. "I haven't danced in a while and I've been going crazy without it. I just need somewhere I can work on my choreography to stay sharp for when school starts again."

Her face brightened.

"Yes, I can ask one of my old colleagues who owns a studio here in Cousins."

"Awesome." I answered with a bright smile.

~

After getting painted, I went back onto the beach for some relaxation. I'd found the beach to be one of my favorite places here in Cousins. It was so calm and beautiful.

I looked out at the ocean in deep contemplative thought. I squinted when I saw a familiar tuft of curls bobbing about in the ocean. It was Jeremiah. He was surfing the huge waves that crashed onto the water.

He was way better at it than I was. For a second I thought about asking him to give me a lesson, knowing it'd be way more fun if he were the one teaching me, but then I remembered about our situation and decided against it. I watched him the whole time, the boy I wanted who seemed to be having a lot of fun by himself.

I wish to god that things had gotten better between us. I wish I didn't have to put on an act around him. I liked who we were a few days ago. Now we were strangers again.