Losing Fear

His fingers traced the shape, closing his eyes. He couldn’t even remember his sisters’ name, and yet he died saving her. He closed his eyes, just remembering the short flashes that his teeth had shown him. He remembered leaving his house when he was taking her ice skating.

He wonders about his last moments with his mum, saying goodbye, his mother telling him to be careful. If he had known…if he had known he would have told her more than just ‘we will’, he would have told her he loved her. He would never have taken his sister skating. He would have followed his mother’s advice and been careful at least.

He sighed, opening his eyes and continuing to sit on the lake before staring up at the Moon. Despite the fact that he now had the power to talk to MiM, he still held a grudge, deep in his heart, even if he understood now. He was confused as to why he had ignored him for so long, though he agreed that it was necessary for the guardians. For today.

“Jack,” said boy’s head snapped up, looking into the darkness surrounding the lake.

“Pitch,” Jack stood with his staff in hand. He knew how this would go down; it is how it always went down.

“You still side with them!” Pitch hissed, slinking from the darkness and onto the lake. Jack didn’t get into a fighting stance; he really had no energy to.

“You still fight for fears,” Jack pointed out needlessly.

“That’s what I do!” Pitch yelled; inside he would never admit that he felt betrayed. He thought that  now, now Jack would understand why he needed this. He knew that the only way for him to be believed in was through fear; if kids believed yet didn’t fear he would never be seen.

“Well being a guardian is what I do!” Jack yelled back, stepping towards the seething nightmare king.

“But you don’t have to be!” Jack glared at him.

“And you don’t have to either; you’re just making excuses to hurt kids!” Jack didn’t understand how he could still wish to, especially after remembering his own daughter.

Pitch could take no more, making his large scythe out of darkness he began to swing it at Jack who quickly began to dodge, flipping and flying through the air until he finally got close enough to kick Pitch.

“Stop fighting with me, Pitch, this does you no good,” despite being believed as the guardian who wants to fight, it wasn’t true.

“You stop fighting with me, just let me be believed in!” the boogeyman hissed.

“I can’t let you hurt kids.” Jack repeated, in his mind was a picture of the kids he’d become friends with, his mind lingering on Jamie who reminded him so much of the image of his sister.

They again began to fight, not with weapons this time. It went on for a long time and it was hard to discern just who was winning. Both were bruised and beaten, now off the cracking lake and into the trees. It stopped as Jack was thrown into a tree, lip bleeding as he painfully stood.

“Why do you need kids to believe in you?” Jack had never felt so angered, so hurt, so betrayed.

“Why?” Pitch repeated shocked he’d asked, watching as Jack limped forward and almost feeling guilty.

“Isn’t my belief in you enough?” Jack’s face burned with shame as he whispered it.

“Your—your belief?” Pitch felt he understood, although he denied it vehemently to himself.

“Yes, Pitch, my belief! The same belief that has me sitting beside you after every fight, listening to your tales, listening to your memories!” Jack paused, spitting out blood as he stumbled, incredibly injured.

“That isn’t belief,” Pitch scoffed “that’s pity!”

“No, Pitch, that’s not pity. That’s me wanting to help, that’s me believing stupidly that you weren’t going to hurt kids anymore. Hurt kids like Jamie, or Sophie, or my sister and your daughter!” Pitch stumbled back, though obviously looking the least injured, he felt as if he’d been physically struck.

“Shut up!” he snapped, reaching forward and grabbing Jack by the throat he slammed him against another tree.

“Is this what your daughter—” Jack was again forced to stop as Pitch again picked him up and threw him against another tree. Jack truly struggled to stand up again, instead kneeling as his limbs shook.

“Is this what your daughter would have wanted?” Pitch snarled, head thrown back as he yelled in anguish, falling to his knees.

“Shut up! Shut up, shut up, shut up! You know nothing!” Pitch screamed at Jack who pitifully crawled towards the king of nightmares.

“I know a lot more than you think, Pitch. I just don’t understand,” Jack whispered, watching as shadows again began to roll from Pitch’s eyes. Instead of sitting back and just watching, he leant forward, wiping them from his cheeks.

Pitch was shocked. Jack had never touched him when he broke down. He simply watched. Pitch hadn’t had gentle human contact in centuries. It felt more than foreign to him.

“I understood why you did this before, you had no one at all, but now you have me and I don’t understand why it isn’t enough,” Jack also didn’t understand why he was being so open.

“Old habits die hard.” Pitch whispered, looking down at the bleeding boy. Pitch hesitantly reached up, his fingers prodding at a bruise on his jaw. Jack winced and jerked his head.

“I—I’m sorry. You’re right,” Pitch stared at the boy in confusion.

“Pitch, am I enough?” Jack asked, ice blue eyes meeting gold.

“I don’t know, it’s hard, Jack. The monsters…they’d consumed me, back then. I am what she fears most, that can’t change,” Pitch looked towards the frozen floor.

“If you’re such a monster then why apologise? Monsters don’t apologise,” Jack hissed in anger again, grabbing Pitch’s chin and pulling his head up forcefully. He wanted to make him believe.

“You’re not a monster, Pitch, and we can change that. I will help; the guardians will help, no matter how long it takes. They’d rather have you on our side than against, understand?” No, Pitch didn’t, but he thought that if he had the Winter Prince with him, then maybe he can try.

Jack smiled at the man before leaning forward, catching the shocked man’s lips with his own. Pitch hadn’t had this contact for longer than a few centuries, but it felt right. With the taste of blood and fear on Jack’s lips, Pitch realised that he was enough.

Jack would help the fear disappear, and that’s all that mattered.