Strike the Past

Chapter 1 - Vader

Both of them go flying, and he lands on his back again, smothering the strangled cry that nearly escapes him. But Abeloth is already in motion, leaping for him. Before he can stand, she's towering over him, trying to pin him down with the Force.

Fear and anger claw through him as he struggles against the hold – he's not this weak. He will not fail to destroy this creature. He cannot fail his master. Ever. How is she even alive? It was pure chance when they defeated her before.

Obi-Wan had –

No. He banishes those thoughts harshly from mind. Memories of lava and fire and never-ending agony white out everything, the moment he even thinks that name. Sometimes, it feels like he's always trapped in that moment, always. Forever. He'll never be free of it, and the pain sparking sharply through his back only reminds of then. Of the fire crawling across him, as he reached out blindly for –

For the help that would never come. The betrayal was even more choking than how he couldn't draw in a single breath as was. Couldn't hear his own scream past the unimaginable pain, and –

The Force latches around him, holding him down. He shouldn't have let himself get distracted.

"You have changed," Abeloth observes, "I can feel your pain, your hate. You did not feel of this before."

"Anakin Skywalker is dead," he hisses. It's what Sidious tells him over and over, and... It's true. Anakin was good. Even if he was also weak.

Vader is a monster, a – a thing. And powerful. (Power that wasn't strong enough to save Padme or his children. Power that wasn't enough for Obi-Wan to even care to grant him the mercy of death. Power that wasn't enough for him to know if Ahsoka or Rex survived.)

"You know the true pain of loss," she continues, ignoring his remark.

He snarls, lashing out violently, enough to push her back, but standing up is far more painful. It's as angering as it is shameful that he knows he's only... able to get upright now because she's not actively fighting him. "You know nothing of me."

"I know you lost everything that made your life worth living," she replies, "I do not come to mock you. I know that pain. And I will spread it to the galaxy. Join me, and you can release your hatred. Together, we can watch the galaxy burn."

For all the anger and grief vibrating through him, every moment of every second, feeling like it's burning what's left of him inside out, he could almost be tempted. But what purpose would that serve? He is loyal to the Empire, to his master. He does not destroy senselessly. Even Sidious would never stoop to such a level. "No," Vader replies harshly.

"So be it," she snarls, suddenly furious again, "I do not need your help. I will do it alone as I always have, as you discard your chance to not be alone." With a snarl, she sinks back into the ground, though he knows she's only twisting forms somehow with the Force – he has no idea how – until there's nothing left.

It leaves him feeling oddly shaken – he's not faced an opponent he can't defeat as Vader. Except his master – both of them – but that's different. (He harshly shakes the memory of that lightning crackling across his already raw skin, only moments after the surgery had been over. He can't look at his master without remembering that and... other such moments, anymore.)

And he failed to defeat Abeloth. His master will not be pleased.

What's worse is he doesn't know how they will defeat her. But he has done the impossible before. She will find he is not as easy to injure and manipulate as Anakin may have been. She will not escape. She cannot.