Kingdom

35

"Sally!"

With my manager's shout, he got me out of my trance. My whole body reacted, standing up from my seat as if I entered the military and had someone higher than me call me out for my unacceptable behavior or action.

"I have been calling you for what? Three times!" his voice raised an octave higher. "It's your turn for the shoot!"

I bit my lip, saying my sorry as I headed in front of the cameras. I started posing but as soon as I did, I lost my focus, the photographer had to call me out for it and asked me to find my senses first before going back. This repeated a couple of times, I lowered my head in shame, not wanting to meet anyone's gaze. All of them are pissed. 

My manager's fed off about my behavior, I can see it but he's trying to conceal it, he's not gonna lecture me in public. It'll be a humiliation to me. I had enough already. 

"What's happening to you, Sally? This is the fourth time this week," he asked with a stern tone. "You've been out of focus, you get easily distracted, you stare a lot and it makes others think you're in a different dimension and have to call you a few more times before you respond. It's not only you who's working, the staff have been here since what? Five, four in the morning? The shoot's been interrupted a lot 'cause you ain't giving your best."

"I'm sorry." was the only thing I can say.

"This is not you Sally." he crosses his arms. "This is very unlike you. You are causing inconvenience to everyone."

"Why is that?" he sat down. "Is there something bothering you?"

I shook my head, not wanting to share my worry. He sighed, problematically. "Look, you can't keep being distracted, Sally. You have a major fashion show to attend and you have to practice, you also have other photoshoots on your schedule, and you have to concentrate. You've gone through this multiple times in your career, why is it now you're so distracted and unable to work productively?"

"Sally," he called. "I'm not just your manager, I was your friend before I became one." his voice softened. "You can share your problem if it's getting too much for you, let it out, in that way, you'll feel light..."

I gave him a no. "I'm alright, I'm just... stressed because of my schedules." the lie casually rolled off my lips. He sighed in defeat but didn't push it further. "You got ten minutes to bring back your senses, let's not add more inconvenience to the staff." 

I threw my head back as I shut my eyes tight. I'm not ready to share with any single soul about this.

Especially I've been caught in some controversies caused by my boyfriend. I lost touch with him, I only found out about him unfollowing my socials when my manager told me about it. He never really tried to fix this with me.

He began posting cryptic posts, making everybody think I was having an affair with JK and that the vacation I had with the girls in South Korea was for us to have quality time. He succeeded though as my social media is bombarded with mountains of messages, hate and threatening ones.

Whilst here I am, stressing every day as paparazzi never left my side and was forced to deal with his "victim" posts while he's out there, enjoying his minutes of fame.

I can't be distracted, this should be the last time I get so distracted by those dreams and voices I hear as it'll result in a bad outcome. I have to be professional and set aside my personal feelings.

I dedicated myself to working, without thinking of anything but work. I left behind what could be a distraction for me while working at home so I could concentrate better and finish my schedule productively.