Foot down

First Glance

Of course I knew who he was but 1. I didn't want to embarrass myself acting like a fan 2. I was not going to give him the satisfaction of thinking I care about him. I mean he wasn't an arsehole... supposedly but  I don't know that so I am sure as hell not going to give him any sort of attention that I assume he gets daily. 

Why is that girl giving my the fattest side eye? And what the fuck if she doing with her mouth... maybe she is choking or maybe she has a muscle tension issue who am I to judge. I can tell she is looking at me in the corner of her eye. You know that feeling what you can tell someone is looking at you. Normally I ignore it but her fucked up mouth movements are freaking me out. 

Oh for fucks sake I forgot to take my invasline out and I can feel a pomegranate seed slipping into it. I could take the retainer out. What's worse? taking out my retainer here and now or trying to suck it out from the inside. I am sure either way I am looking like a weirdo. Wait okay who is being the egotistical one now, no one is looking at you Uri, theres literally would famous motorsport icons and you really think someone is looking at you trying to get a seed out of your tooth in the corner of the room. 

It has been like a solid 5 minuets and it genuinely looks like she is a stroke victim. Should I tell Simon to send someone over. No that could create a scene and I don't want her thinking I care about her. I mean obviously I care about some innocent lady dying in this business marketing mixer thing but I don't want her to get the wrong idea. I've already looked over at her twice.

Oh my god he is looking at me. You know that feeling when you can tell someone is looking at you. Maybe I am just being delusional there's no way. FUCK I can not get this stupid seed out of my teeth. I am going to have to go to the toilet or take my retainer out here and now. If I go to the toilet I will have to walk by my boss and him and basically everyone else who will be an important figure in my life for the next year. I really don't want to risk being stuck in a conversation with food waste strapped to my teeth. Wait is that a staff toilet around the side. Lets gooo, it is! No one gives a shit who I am, I can easily sneak in there and get this out.

Oh my god what is she doing. She's disorientated now. Surely she will be embarrassed walking through the kitchen also it's kinda dangerous knifes...flames... potential lady having a stroke....."sigh" I have no idea what our new manager has been saying the past 15 mins because I've been looking at this crazy woman. "Sorry Simon, I just saw a friend I must say hello to" 

Perfect a nice quiet secluded toilet to take my retainer... WHACK. Someone has just opened the door wide open and hit me in the head. Slightly dazed I look up to see multimillionaire upcoming world champ Marco Daines standing over me is. This is bullshit there's no way he actually looks this good in real life. I wonder if he wears like a little bit of concealer or something. Wow this is really mesmerising I am just gonna look at his pretty fac...

Oh for fucks sake. I opened the door on her and if she wasn't having a stroke before she clearly is having one now. HELLO UM HELLO can you smell burnt toast??? HELLO. Shit does she even speak english erm ah BONSOIR? no um olå? She is just staring at me fuck. "Hey can we get some help here!" I yell out but it is clearly muffled by the wannabe Rufus De Soul DJ. Is she? IS SHE PASSING OUT wait did I knock her fucking teeth out?! what's in her hand? Never mind she's sprawled out like a drunk starfish and has dropped her knocked out teeth in the toilet. Great now I am going to look like I drugged and beat up this lady having a stroke at a work mixer, the media is going to love this one. I've got to get out of here. She's got to get out of here too. Wait she's got a verified badge on hold on. It says Uri Montari communications manager FIA. Oh great so I am going to get a 2 million fine over this now too -_-.  I can hear Simon standing up outside "Attention everyone, thank you so much for making out here this evening" he's about to make his debut speech. I can easily duck out and someone else can find her. I look over my shoulder to see her in a disturbingly embarrassing state but also a concerning one. I can't just leave her. I don't want to cause Simon issues his first week in. Okay the exit is right there. The waiters are out serving they won't see me exit. I will just pick her up and shover her in the lift and we will go to my car in the basement and the team will just think I picked up a chick. I would rather be labelled as a womaniser then what it currently looks like... Alright nows my chance. I sling her arm around my shoulder. She's actually half walking now and we make a B line to the lift. All I hear is "and the man himself getting us to pole MARCOOOO DAINES" mortified I turn back. 100 people are staring at me and this girl that's crumbled into my shoulder. The lift doors open and I slowly back into them. I am not sure what came over me but the only way I could make this look semi normal is by doing what I did next. "Yes and I couldn't have done it without the love of my life Uri!" and I give her a passionate kiss and just as the lift doors are closing....