genre: angst
warnings: mentions of murder, arguing, js overall angst
~ e n j o y ~
lately Spencer has been pushing me away alot, we barley even talk anymore, sure a few words and sometimes a whole conversation if im lucky, it's awkward, hes no longer being affectionate either, all i can wonder is 'did i do something to upaet him?'
it's another day, im sitting on the sofa watching tv as i hear the car door close outside, it's Spencer, i get up from the sofa and turn off the tv, i walk to the front door and wait like a puppy waiting for it's owner, i hear the sound of keys and then the door opening, i smile excitedly and go to hug Spencer "hi baby how was work--" i say, Spencer walks past me, like im a ghost of some sort, he walks to his 'study' and slams the door shut
i sigh and walk to our shared bedroom, i sit down on the bed, wondering whatever it is that i did wrong for him to ignore me, i look out the window as a tear slips down my cheek, i haven't noticed the presence of Spencer yet, "why are you crying?" he asks bluntly, i tense up at his stern voice, "nothing" i mumble
anger starts to rise in me as he says nonchalantly "you're obviously upset, just tell me", i turn around in anger "why should i tell you anything." i ask in a cold but aggressive tone, he stares at me coldly and turns to walk away
"no-- NO, WE ARE TALKING ABOUT THIS NOW." i yell out as i run to him, "talk about what exactly?" he asks in a cold tone as he continues walking away, "YOU." i say aggressively once again on the verge of tears, he stops walking and turns around with confusion written all over his face, "what do you mean me?" he asks as he furrows his brows
"YOU BARLEY FUCKING TALK TO ME ANYMORE-- WE DON'T EVEN HUG, KISS OR CUDDLE ANYMORE LET ALONE FUCK." i yell, tears running down my cheeks, he rolls his eyes and is about to turn around again, "YOU OWE ME AN EXPLANATION!" i yell, he turns around and looks irritated, "y/n, i don't owe you anything." he says coldly, with an irritated expression
im now full on crying, "stop being such a whiny baby" he says in annoyance and start walking away again, i look up at him and stop crying, my sadness now turning into full on hatred, "YOU KNOW WHAT-- FUCK THIS. IM FUCKING DONE WITH THIS BULLSHIT." i yell as i run and grab my suitcase, i start packing it with my clothes
Spencer turns around and is about to say something but notice me packing, "baby what are you--", i cut him off "NO, DONT FUCKING 'BABY' ME." i yell in anger, Spencer walks over to me "no-- y/n, you're not thinking clearly-- please-- i--" i continue packing aggressively but my hatred starts fading away, turning into sadness and i colapse down on the ground and start crying, Spencer hugs me, "baby, im sorry, i love you alot, more than you'd ever know-- and i--- im really fucking sorry" he says, "no you fucking dont, you're full of shit--" i yell but get cut off by him kissing me
i kiss him back and pull away, i instantly feel calmer and i hug him back, continuing to softly cry, he continues hugging me, ignoring that his white button up is getting covered in my tears
after a while i calm down, and look at him, he looks slightly guilty and sighs, "baby, there's something i haven't told you--" he says, i cut him off "it's another woman, isn't it?" i ask as i start crying again, "WHAT? no! never, i could never." he says as i start calming down again, "then what is it?" i ask, my eyes are red from crying
he takes a deep breath "you know my ex girlfriend, Ashley?", i nod, tears threatening to fall, "you know how she was murdered?" he asks awkwardly, i nod again, "i-- it was me-- she was cheating on me so i-- im sorry, okay? after that the adrenaline rush and everything, i just couldn't stop-- but before you say anything-- i would never even dream of hurting you, my love"
im in a state of shock but nod, "i just didn't want you to get involved and i was kind of stressed over the cops finding evidence that i had something to do with other murders, but they didn't, im sorry i pushed you away... it's completely fair if you dont want to be with me anymore--"
i take a deep breath "Spence-- i--" i giggle slightly, "i wont leave you, okay? and--" i look away, "this may sound psychotic-- but i-- im fine with the murders.. you know, i kinda had the feeling that it was you who killed Ashley but i didn't say anything since you were my best friend back then and i knew she was a cheater" i smile
a look of relief washes over Spencer and he kisses me, "baby, i love you so fucking much-- im really really sorry for pushing you away tho--"
"yeah, that was kind of a dick move and im willing to forgive you if you promise one thing" i say, he raises a brow "which is?", "no more secrets, okay?" i say as i look into his eyes, he smiles and nods, "no more secrets, i promise"
i get up and start packing back my clothing, Spencer picks up a black pair of lingerie from the suitcase, "well well well, what do we have here?" he asks whit a smirk on his face, my face flushes red "nothing-- pUT THOSE DOWN" i say in complete embarrassment and he laughs
~ e n d ~
part 2? ;) lowkey had fun writing this, also lmk if there are any errors lol
