tell me a secret...i'll tell you mine (editing and rebranding)

chapter 20: eat the rich!

I've always known Lucas is a terrific cook since he cooked once in a while at Daisy's but right now, the meal I'm currently eating, one word: mouthgarsm.
It's so good. Like it's breakfast but it's still so good.
He watches me from where I sit at his dining table, a proper dining table (like who has one?) with a look in his pretty eyes. I almost roll my eyes at that. He's so weird sometimes.
I'm currently on my 'find one thing unusual about Lucas' agenda because there's no way he can do it all. He can cook. He can sing. He plays like how many instruments. He's excelling at school and might be the best graduating English student (don't ask me how I know, I just do). He's a decent enough guy, I think. I don't know him enough to call it.
He's not racist as far as I know. It'll be pretty stupid. Why would the oppressed oppress another oppressed? It's stupid but it happens. And it's stupid because it happens.
Wait, why am I bothering myself with this? I do not care about Lucas. Who am I kidding?
"Where are the twins?" I ask before I do something stupid like jump him.
"They're at Gina's"
I raise an eyebrow, "You mean at your mother's?"
He shrugs and sips his tea and I wince slightly.
I can't stand tea and barely stand coffee. No wonder I'm insane.
"Your family is nice", unlike you.
OK Lucas is nice a bit.
I had a great time hanging with his family the last time regardless of how it ended. We can't always think of the bad side alone. I would love to see them again.
"They're okay," he replies. His tone is a bit funny. Am I reading too much into it? I mean the dinner last time was borderline catastrophic but I'm sure not every one of their dinner end that way, right? Right?
"Tell me about them," I say just as he's about to take a large bite of his toast. He looks up at me as if I've asked the most outrageous question.
"Why?"
"Because...I like your family and they like me and I should know them. Your brother's fiancee is like my best friend," I say then pause. With the most flirty voice I can muster, I continue, "besides I want to know more about you."
I even add puppy eyes for effect. My eyes are my best quality. Why don't I harness that? The little exhale he lets out tells me he works. I know, I just know if I put in a little extra effort, I'll have him eating out of my hands.
"It's a big family as you've seen. My parents went on a spree to over two decades ago to adopt less privileged kids-"
"That's not very nice."
"I was joking. Dark humor and some shit." I roll my eyes as he continues, "anyway, they adopted six kids and birthed two. Me and my twin sister."
You have a twin sister, I'm about to ask but I don't because it was mentioned at the dinner from hell and I know she's in the hospital so I don't ask.
"Um, my mom is Japanese. My dad is Italian. The eldest, Kyle is a lawyer. Mark is a doctor. Aya is cosmetician. Dante is a pilot. Minnie is dabbling in some new dark shit but really she's a small business owner. Toby is a geek-"
Like you is silent and I'm not even offended. I'm a geek.
"And there's me."
"The musician."
"Yes."
"The smart kid."
"It's the Asian in me."
I smile at that.
"That's actually impressive, your siblings. Your parents must be so proud."
"Eh, we're trust fund babies," he says adding more bacon to my meal.
"Aiming to fatten me up, eh?" I say in jest.
"You know it, baby," he replies and it's my turn to blush. Fucker.
"I listened to your music, you know?"
"Did you?"
"Yeah. You're good." Really good.
Since my first time, I've listened to more of Lucas' music. He's really making waves. He performed at the Graham Norton Show the other day and he's in talks to headline lollapalooza UK and the summer time ball. I promise I'm not stalking him. It's just there on the internet. But to be honest, his music is just really good.
"How do you manage to live a low-key life?"
"I'm not that popular, Victor."
"Oh come on yes you are. You're only about to sign the biggest music contract since Ed Sheeran with Republic Music." And that's when I know I've said too much.
"Wow, I'm so honored being stalked," he teases me.
"Hey, I'm not stalking me. If only you would give me your number and I could ask you like a normal person."
"I thought you have my number already."
"Fuck you." Now I'm embarrassed about it. I know it seems I'm obsessed with Lucas but I'm not. I'm not. I'm really not.
"Don't be embarrassed. I have yours too," he says and I look up at him.
"Of course I do. In case you didn't notice, I'm low-key into you."
That makes me smile. I hold his stare, his pretty eyes staring right back at me.
"I'm low-key into you too."
He hums and nods and goes back to his food.
I don't. I still have one more question to ask.
"Does that mean we're..." I trail off hoping he feels the blank. I mean of course not but like.
"Oh no I don't do relationships."
That's...harsh.
"It's not you, I promise," he quickly clarifies. "I'm not relationship material."
"That's not very nice."
"It's the truth. None of my previous relationships have ended well."
Okay, but they're in the past. God, what is wrong with me? It's not like I'm interested in being a relationship. I still don't know who I am or what the hell I am doing. I can't even use the g word to describe myself.
"Of course I want some form of exclusivity if that's what you're into."
"It's no big deal, Lucas. Let's just roll with it."
He doesn't say anything for a few seconds as if thinking about it.
"Okay, let's roll with it".
It's silent for a while, not comfortable but not uncomfortable either. I think about it all. The only thing I've done with Lucas really is make out with him. Now, we're talking exclusivity. It's a lot and it feels rushed. But it feels... okay too.
"I'm scared, you know?" Lucas breaks my train of thought with his statement.
I look up. Scared of what? Us?
"No, I'm terrified. I- I don't know if I can handle the fame."
Oh.
"Oh."
"It's too fast and I'm overwhelmed. Every musician hopes to make it big at some point and maybe part of me did but to be honest, I miss making music for the same hundred people. Shit, sorry."
I quickly shake my head and reach out to grab his hand on the table.
"Don't apologize, I understand."
"I mean, this is every musician's dream. But I almost don't want it. That's terrible."
"It's not. You're allowed to feel however you do. Change is difficult."
I understand him more than anyone else. Of course, the changes I've had to go through is nothing compared to the changes he's going through but I still understand him.
I realize this might be the first time Lucas has truly opened up to me. Yes, he has said stuff but being direct about his feelings, this is definitely the first time. He tangles my palm in his.
"You have nice hands."
"Another fetish of yours?"
He looks up and cocks his head, "another?"
"Your obsession with me is one, ya know?"
He smiles, teeth and all. Lucas' smile is his best quality. He doesn't do it often but it's so beautiful to see.
"Hey, wanna hang out here and make out here all day?"
I'm about to agree when I remember I have a life to get to.
I sigh, "I can't. I have to get to work."
For a tad second, he looks disappointed but Lucas is skilled at schooling his expression that I almost think I imagined it.
"I'll drop you off."
"You don't have to. I have to stop by at Daisy's first." That'll make me late as anything and shit, I'm never late.
"I insist. If you want to go straight to your workplace, you can. It's closer from here. I'm sure I can find something of mine that'll fit you," he says and it seems he's almost ranting. It's cute.
Usually, I would have said no and I still want to say no but I'm seriously going to be late. So I concede.
"Okay."
That is how I find myself at the passenger seat of Lucas' car dressed in one of his clothing. Lucas drives a Mercedes. Not the type that's like a hand me down from one's uncle to another and then to you. No the proper Mercedes. And he lives in one of those fancy areas of London. He's truly a trust fund baby. He's rich, like old money rich. Though he doesn't show it, he doesn't not show it. I'm having mixed and confusing feelings about it.
He puts on a playlist consisting of Taylor Swift songs. He really really likes her.
"How long have you been a fan? Of Taylor Swift?"
"Since the beginning," he answers like it's the most normal thing in the world. I mean it's not abnormal.
"The beginning, beginning?"
"Yep."
I whistle, for some reason, "you must been what 12, 13."
"Eleven."
I hum and nod. I've never really understood the stan culture. Sure I listen to music and I love music but my music taste is here and there. I can't imagine being so dedicated to just one person and for a long period of time too.
"Have you ever met her?"
He doesn't say anything for a few seconds. I turn to face him and he seems to be going over his answer.
"Thirty."
"What?"
"I haven't met her personally but I've seen her thirty times," he says.
I splutter startled. Goodness, he's an fanatic. I'm not going to say that out loud though.
"Why do you like her so much? Your music style couldn't be more different," I ask him genuinely curious. She seems to be at the center of his universe.
"She has just always been there. Not to sound dramatic or corny but she's like the calm to my storm. Well, her music is."
I want to be the calm to your storm. With that awful thought, I know it's time to shut up and turn my brain off because I am losing the mind. The rest of the car is silent except with the soft sound of Taylor Swift singing about a mad woman.
Soon enough, we arrive at my workplace.
I unbuckle my seatbelt as he pulls over by the parking lot.
"Thank you so much for the ride. Thank you for today. For last night though I don't remember much. Thank you for everything"
He nods.
He's so pretty. I sit there thinking of something. I don't know why but I feel like I should apologize.
"I'm sorry, about last night. It's never my intention to hurt you."
He looks surprised that I apologized. He frowns then his expression softens.
"Thank you. Apology accepted. And I'm sorry I didn't tell you about me being, you know, the writer. I don't really talk about that side of me to anyone."
I'm not anyone. Now I'm ridiculous.
"It's fine. Thank you."
I sit there for a few more seconds and ee continue to stare at each other.
Is it just me or are his eyes really beautiful right now?
What am I doing?
"I should go", my voice comes out in a whisper.
"You should", he whispers back.
But why am I not moving?
My eyes drop to his lips.
His lips have got to be the prettiest lips I have ever seen.
I shouldn't want to kiss him right now but I want to. I really want to.
It must be the hangover. I don't think I've totally recovered.
I move towards him and tilt my head and do it; I kiss him.
It's more of a peck but it's something and it's sweet. It's so sweet.
"Bye", I say after I pull away. I almost want to kiss him again seeing the flush on his cheeks. Lucas is never the blushing type but he's blushing right now and it's because of me. Okay, I need to get out of there.
I open the door with no other words exchanged and alight.
Walking into the building, I can't help but think that I am screwed.
Later, after a long day, it's time to go home.
Today has been particularly good. We made tiny progress and normally, I would have beaten myself up that we are not moving fast enough but I've learnt my lesson the hard way. We also got a paycheck and I smile. The pharmaceutical don't usually pay us in cash. It's not as bad as it sounds. They take care of us, they do.
It's officially two months since I came to England. Though there have been ups and down, the past two months have genuinely been my favorite time in a very long time.
After gathering my things, I order a Uber and wait for it to arrive. I'm also contemplating ordering pizza or some fast food because I'm certain I'm not cooking tonight. Ugh, I miss Lucas' cooking.
No. Nope. Not thinking of him. As much as I don't want to admit it, I found myself thinking about him at random times during the day. I have a crush and it's so embarrassing. I don't like what he's doing to me. I really don't like it.
"Victor"
The sudden call of my name has me flinching a bit. I turn from where I'm standing at the entrance of the building to see Azizul walking towards me. I smile at him. Azizul and l are cool. He's genuinely a very funny person. He sometimes flirts with me but he hasn't expressed outright that he likes me. I know he does, regardless of what Spencer said. I've caught him staring at me multiple times and he's very attentive towards me, always listening to what I have to say. I can admit it's very attractive.
"Hey"
"Hey. You're about to leave, yeah?" He asks me. Azizul lives in the residence with the others who chose to reside there.
"Yeah, I just ordered an Uber"
"Cool. I went to fast food down the road."
"Viviana's, yeah?"
"Yeah"
"It's great. They make solid stuff."
"So I've heard."
I nod and for some reason we stand there awkwardly. What's wrong with today? My phone sends an alert that my Uber is here and I celebrate.
"I have to go. My Uber is here," I tell him.
"Oh, see you on Monday then," he replies.
"Yeah, you too." I turn to go and have walked a few steps.
"Victor, wait," Azizul's voice stops me again.
I turn to face him again. He looks oddly nervous.
"I'm just going to say it. Will you go out with me? Tomorrow, if that's comfortable for you."
To say I didn't see it coming would be a lie. But did it have to be on the day me and Lucas talked about exclusivity? Regardless, I still have to give Azizul an answer. If I say yes, what does that say about Lucas and I? If I say no, what if there's something that could potentially happen between Azizul and I? But then Lucas. Still, since I'm new to these endeavors and... tendencies, I think it's smart I explore my options.
"Victor."
Azizul brings me back. Right, I still have to answer him. Here goes nothing.
"Yes, I would love to."
"Oh," he says as if lost for words. He looks genuinely surprised I agreed. Come on, have a little faith in me, Azizul. I don't say it out loud though. But, God, what have I done?
"Okay, I'll text you about the details," he says smiling at me and it's dazzling. Goodness, I'm attracted to men.
"Okay," I reply.
"Off to your Uber."
"Right, yeah. See you," I say and turn to go. My legs feel like jelly and oh God, what have I done?