Tainted Love

III

It's April 28th and Louis has been secretly working for hours on a video for the last few days to put online. All with the help of his best friend Oli, who, unlike Krystal, doesn't make any accusations but instead supports Louis' idea at least to the extent that he doesn't ask any questions and just lets him do it. Something Louis needs now. He knows in his heart that Krystal is right about everything she says, but he's too stubborn and still so disappointed in Harry, that he can barely keep up the charade in front of Krystal and management that he's over the worst of his pain now.

In fact, right now he's sitting in front of his laptop with tears in his eyes, wishing so much for what they had back. Nothing has been heard from Harry in the media in the last few days, which of course Louis doesn't follow at all. He hopes that posting the song will bring him real closure as he takes what he feels out into the world and his fans can guess what he is feeling - that it will be valid.

Maybe he'll even get a reaction from Harry - although of course he immediately pushes that small, painful thought to the farthest corner of his mind.

With a sigh, he finally clicks the button to post the video without further thought and leans back in his chair. He's nervous about what the fans will say and how much trouble he'll be in with management.

To draw even more attention to it, he logs on to Twitter and sends a tweet with the link to his video.

Louis_Tomlinson
This is for you as well as for me. A farewell to a part of me that willingly left me in pieces.

Yes it sounds bitter. And yeah, he doesn't know how he's ever going to get over Harry. But it's just so good to do this for himself, not to listen to others who think they know better how to deal with the breakup. Louis has always been authentic and that's exactly what his fans love about him. What he loves about himself. And in fact he doesn't care how Harry feels if he listens to the song.

He just wants to look ahead, wants to do it so badly, even if he doesn't really know how it's supposed to work yet.

He quickly reads a few comments below the video. Most wish for it on all streaming portals and hope for a place on the next album. A big grin spreads across his face and he plays it again himself, although he feels like he's been doing nothing else for the past few days. Listens to his lyrics with closed eyes and tries to free his heart from Harry. Harry, who is so jealous of his success, doesn't deserve it anyway, right? Especially since Louis still doesn't understand the circumstances of the separation.

Sometimes, I wake up, and I hear you through the silence
You let your pride hide all your beauty and your kindness
So fast to judge in error
You thought you knew me better
So quick to kill forever
You used to read me like a headline

So many reasons now you're not mine Maybe if you'd taken more time
I'd still be the one you wanna talk to every night, oh-oh
If you got in my head
You wouldn't be scared of what you'd find
You used to read me like a headline
Oh, that's the reason now you're not mine anymore

Louis quietly hums along in the beginning, closes his eyes and suddenly disappears into his memories. How fucking in love they were. How their fans and suddenly many other people celebrated their love because it was so obvious. How they appeared together on red carpets, beaming broadly and bathed in the spotlight. Only to throw themselves at each other at home afterwards and then sported big smiles for a different reason. How Harry spoiled him in any form and after that it was his part to hold Harry when they fell asleep. Only to wake up together the next morning. How they used every single second when they were together, filled their pot with those moments to get through the time without each other.