Unspoken Thoughts I

18

I remember one night,
I was praying in my room.
I prayed for you to always be happy,
even if it wasn't with me.

But I also prayed that as soon as I turned 18,
you would get down on one knee,
and we would finally marry.

Isn't it funny,
I'm 18 now, but we don't even speak.
That's fine with me,
but don't tell that to the little girl that was praying in her room.
She just turned 15, and she spent the day with her "boyfriend".
She knows he's too afraid to say it,
but they both love each other very much.

And yes, that little girl was me.
Now, 3 years later, in the same room I prayed for our future marriage,
In the same room I cried when you hurt me,
in the room where that night I sobbed and screamed,

I smile,
even though I know it's been a while.
Maybe one day, the part of me that hates you will go away.
I only say this because there is no point.
No point in hating someone that isn't even there.

Thank you though.
I haven't seen you in a long time, and I hope it stays that way.
The next time you see me, if that ever happens,
I won't be avoiding you like I always did.

I'll be grinning,
cause I'll make you sure you see me while I'm winning.