Swan Upon Leda // Jake Kiszka

Chapter Four

Maybe in another life?

There's no hiding from your soul mate. They will find you. And you will fall. And you'd choose him in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality. You'd find him, and you'd stay.

"You were you, and I was I. We were two, before our time. I was yours before I knew, and you have always been mine too..." You sobbed the words into the ether, the only poem you'd ever recited to memory, a sweet linger of words that had no meaning until you met Jake.

He slept so soundly. His eyelids flickering against dreams. And you wondered what lie beyond those beautiful closed eyes. A serenity that was never afforded to you.

"I always wanted you, even when I didn't know what I wanted." You cried softly, the salt of tears falling onto your lips. "It was you. Always you..."

You couldn't fathom the pain that was constricting in your chest already as you laid by his side. Fully clothed now, whereas he remained naked from the love you had made earlier in the night.

His mouth was slightly open and his breath was still warm as he breathed. Slow and deep breaths that only came when lost in sleep.

You couldn't do this in the cold light of day. How could you watch his face as he begged you to stay with him? How could you walk away from a love that had ignited such a peaceful refuse within you?

You tucked the envelope into the pillow beside him and picked up your bag. The one you had packed the night before, in secret. The one you had thought you would never have to pack. Convinced, at the last moment, you'd be given a reason to stay.

The night was cool. A gentle breeze hit your face as you stepped out onto the porch. Meandering through the junkyard of your home in the darkness, not even bothering to look back. If you did, you knew you'd walk back inside. Tethered eternally to the people sleeping within, convinced you were alive simply because they were.

You'd tried. You'd tried so hard. But you couldn't do it anymore. Waiting for the inevitable. Trying to keep a loosening grip on the things you loved most. But you could feel it slipping and couldn't bear the pain.

You waited until you reached the end of the street before falling to your knees. Feeling the dirt and gravel puncture the flesh there, bleeding into the ground as you shrieked and wailed for the life you should have lived. It wasn't fair.

Meryn's POV

You couldn't stand to be in the same room as her. The way she presented herself, the way she acted as if she had done nothing wrong. Expecting a welcome worthy of a hero. Like she was a benevolent figure you'd ached for, her arms wide open as she stood there behind the screen door waiting for somebody to open it for her.

The morning your Mother returned had been one of such unadulterated joy, you felt it sucked out of the room as soon as she appeared. Like the sunshine had been drained from the very sky it dwelled in.

You couldn't remember the last time you'd felt choked by a crippling anxiety. But it crept back in as she sauntered into the kitchen, demanding to know why nobody was happy to see her. Immediately suspicious as to why two of the Kiszka boys were sat at her table as if they owned it.

The row which ensued had been deadly. Not least because you were done being silent. You were done being a child. She had relinquished any power over you the night she'd disappeared. If she'd held any hope of telling you that Sam was not welcome, you ripped it straight out of the air and screamed it into her face as she tried to embrace you.

"What sort of welcome is this?" She had asked, profoundly offended that it hadn't been warmer.

Swan had been silent for the most part. Sitting at the table quietly exchanging glances with Jake until the right time to speak.