Daily Feelings

#31 - Backburner

I recently moved to my dream country for a job.
An internship to be precise, but a job nonetheless.

Moving to a place you've dreamed about for years on end, it makes you...happy, to say the least.

You put on these 'honeymoon glasses', as you look around and experience all these experiences you thought you will never get.

New surroundings, new culture, new people, new friends, new love.

These honeymoon glasses are very, very beautiful, very enchanting, very strong. Strong enough to overwhelm your mind.

But like any other good things, a 'honeymoon' must end.

And then you realize that coming to a place you don't know won't always result in a clean slate.

Sooner or later, you take off your glasses. Then reality hits.

You brought your problems with you. Engulfing everything and everyone around you in it.

Just because you surround yourself with new things, doesn't necessarily mean you become new yourself.

Your old problems that you pushed aside for the past few months because of this honeymoon period? It's back to haunt you, and it's stronger than ever.

You can surround yourself in the most caring individuals you can possibly imagine, yet because of your problems, because of you yourself, nothing will ever change.

Your new surroundings? You have to adapt to them. They won't care about you because you aren't and never will be one of them.

Your new friends? They have other friends too besides you, who knows more about them than you ever will.

Just look around. You're all alone.