Daily Feelings

#30 - Moving On (2)

As time passes on, you grow older.

This is a fact that no one, even if they want to, can truly ever deny.

As I hit my 20s, I realize that I will no longer always be the youngest in my surroundings.

I don't really mind not being the youngest, as it boosts my ego in a way that people might come to me for advice or wisdom, as I have done the same to people older than me.

It helps me in a way that, even though I may not be emotionally more mature than some people younger than me are, I may be of help to them through my life experiences and lessons, how meager they may be.

Yet, with all the years I have ahead of them, with all the wisdom I believe I had more of than their own, I'm still trapped in immaturity.
In the way that I may not be the best at what I do, especially around those who had better situations than me growing up.
In the way that I may not have the vigor nor passion that the past me have for what I do.

In the way that I will never ever truly accept the fact that people will always move on.

A certain character from a sitcom show taught me a way to deal with this.

"You will be shocked when you discover how easy it is in life to part ways with people forever. That's why, when you find people you want to keep around, you do something about it."

Profound words, especially from a character in a sitcom show.

Everytime I feel sad or down about people moving on, be it to another city for a job, to have a better life, to start a family, etc. I try to remember those words. And yet, my pessimistic brain that I cannot shut down will always find a way to bring myself down even further.

"You want to keep them around and do something about it, but what if they don't want you in their lives? You'll just be a meddler who keeps forcing his way into other people's lives."

People will try to say the same thing to me when I eventually talk about this to them.

"You feel like people don't want you in your lives, but you forgot that there are people who wants to keep you in their lives, the same way you want to keep them in yours."

Thank you, but I doubt it.

No one wants a cynical hypocrite who can never be positive about things in their lives.