Midst of Euphoria

Prologue

Have you ever experience being in a set up where you really don't have any choice but to accept the things that the world gave you?

You don't have plans on anything. You're just alive for the sake of living. 

Have you ever questioned yourself for the things that you want but couldn't achieved because you feel like you're not even worth it?

Sometimes, we just do anything in order to be alive, to feel alive, but the truth is, it doesn't give us hapiness.

The feelings, thoughts, beliefs are illusions. You really don't know what you want. The people just planted their ambitions to your mind for you to adapt. It's not something you really want, it's more on satisfying what people want you to become.

"You need to pass your entrance exam. It would be a shame if you fail."

I could feel the tension that surrounds the dining table. I looked at my father's figure and slightly smile.

"I'll try dad." I could feel the sarcastic gaze of my sister, Claudia. This silence made me even more uncomfortable.

Home isn't really my typical safe zone. It's too suffocating. Home should be a place where you could feel warmth, love, and support.

The reality is, home doesn't really exist. If this place is really home, why can't i find comfort? why is it suffocating? It seems like I'm a prisoner of my own little fantasy, an idea that one day, I could proudly say that home is a description of my family.

"There's no room for failure in this family, Craine."

I gripped the fork that was placed on my right hand before staring at my Dad. "Failure isn't part in my vocabulary, Dad."

It's hard to be calm. It's hard to pretend. It's hard to sit here in the dining table, as if my whole system is stucked in graveyard.

"That's good." he said.

"Do you want me to help you study for your upcoming entrance exam, Craine?"

I stopped midair after hearing my sister's voice. I could feel her smirk. She's really underestimating me.

I'm not really fan of sister's affection. We're not the typical sister that comfort each other through upside and down.

If i could describe my sister in one word. I'd go for satan.

"Let her be, Claudia. She should know how to deal anything from now on. Afterall, she's already in legal age."

I smiled sarcastically after hearing my mother's authorative voice. Even if she won't ask, I would never ask for my sister's help.

"I can handle it, mother." I firmly said without looking at them. "I'm not like some other person who's still in need of guidance afterall." my eyes landed to my sister's face, angry.

Why? did i hit the nerve? As if i wouldn't know her little tricks. She's a type of person who will do anything just to be on top, to be called smart, but the reality is, she's really just living her life to the illusions and fantasies, on making herself be something more than just Claudia Amara Hermsé. She will do every way possible just to achieve her aims, regardless of her own dignity, she wouldn't care.

"I'll excuse myself first." I said while tapping the table napkin.

"Okay ka lang po ba?"

If not only for this little boy who tap the little strand of my dress, I wouldn't notice na malayo na pala ang narating ng isip ko.

"Ate Craine, alam n'yo po ba na nakakabawas raw po sa ganda pag nakabusangot ang mukha?"

I couldn't help but to chuckled because of his tiny voice. He's Lensy, son of our head maid. If there's one person who could actually make me feel better despite of this huge modern house, it would be Lensy. Despite his age, he's too smart to be a 7 years old kid.