Loving Cross

40.

I smiled. "OK." I nodded.

"Hands behind your back." He nodded.

I put my hands behind my back, and he kissed from my neck, all the way down my body until he was on his knees in front of me.

I looked down, and I don't know what it was, but him looking up at me as he slid my leggings down my legs, something felt different.

Him simply undressing me felt more intimate than anything we had ever done.

He kissed the inside of my thigh, up to my pelvic bone, stood up, and just pulled me into a deep kiss.

He pulled away and took a deep breath. "Are you ready to get in?"

I nodded.

He got in the tub, and pulled me in to sit in front of him and face him.

He reached over the edge, poured 2 glasses of wine, and handed me one.

"To you and me." He smiled and tipped his glass toward me.

I smiled. "To me and you." I clanked mine against his and took a sip.

I took a deep breath and set my glass on the edge. "Can we talk?"

"Yeah." He nodded. "Always. What's going on?" He set his glass down too.

I hesitated, but I pushed it out. "I'm really nervous." I pursed my lips.

He gave me a small smile and grabbed my hands. "I know. And, believe it or not, I am too." He nodded.

"Why are you nervous?" I shook my head.

"Well, it's not a secret that I've had sex. And, as much as I don't want to admit it, I have taken a few virginities. The difference is, you're more than a friend. Obviously I cared about them, but not the way I do you." He shook his head. "And I know how much this means to you, and you mean a lot to me, and I don't want to fuck up your first time."

"Cash, I trust you." I nodded. "You're not going to fuck it up."

"Just, can I ask one thing from you?"

"Of course."

"If you end up getting uncomfortable, or the pain gets to be too much, can you tell me please?"

"Why would I be in pain?" I shook my head.

"Belle, when girls have sex for the first time, the hymen, it's kind of like a barrier, it breaks and there's a whole new depth. And in case you haven't noticed, I'm a bit on the bigger side, and I'm a bit thicker and longer than 2 fingers. I mean, I'm gonna do everything to make this as painless as possible. But if it hurts, hurts, or you're uncomfortable or you change your mind, I really need you to tell me. OK?"

"OK." I nodded and cleared my throat.

"You say whatever you need to say babe." He nodded.

I sighed. "Could you uh. Could you talk me through it? Like, what you're gonna do, and well, how?" I looked down.

"Hey." He pulled me closer to him. "Come here." He leaned in and kissed me. "Of course I will. Baby I want you to be comfortable and enjoy sex." He nodded. "If that means I need to talk you through it the first few times or when we try something new, I'll do that."

I took a deep breath and nodded. "OK."

"I do like how open you're being with me right now though." He brushed my hair out of my face. "That, definitely keep doing that. With everything, not just this."

I let out a small smile.

"You ready?" He pursed his lips.

I bit my bottom lip and lightly nodded.