RETRY / G. SATORU

04

❝ I'M GOING SOMEWHERE! ❞

you exclaimed to megumi, but he didn't reply, so it almost seems like you're talking to nobody.

you sighed, and said your last goodbye, "ba-byee!" before going out and taking a long pleasure walk. right now, you're planning to visit your grave.

correction; your old body grave. 

you were kinda sad that you weren't able to visit your own funeral. "ah, i wish i could have come!" you really wanted to see what picture did they framed for you. but one thing is for sure, "i just hope they used the one i'm wearing a bikini. i look very sexy there!"

and, now that you're thinking about your old body, you can't help but wonder;

"gosh, why am i not even sad about it?" you asked as you just realized that you never cried about losing your old body. 

i mean, you did miss it, but not exactly the body. instead, the people you spend with, using that body.

"i miss shoko and suguru!" you exhale out loud to the air. of course not just those two, but you also missed satoru. although, you didn't want to admit it out loud.

"fuck that jerk!" you shouted.

you then took the train, and it took you a couple of hours before reaching the jujutsu barrier.

"what the...?" you were so surprised because, "they're still holding a funeral for me?" your heart softens, "aww, i didn't know they love me that much!"  

you happily skipped towards the funeral, looking forward to see what picture frame did they displayed for you. but your heart stopped, when you saw that, 

"haibara...?"

you swallowed deeply, as you took another step forward, "what the...?" yu haibara; your favorite junior. 

he's very cheerful, always positive, and his sweet smile never seems to disappear. even right now. in the big picture, haibara was still smiling so brightly.  

you rubbed your eyes, checking if you mistaken his real face as a gallery! i mean, what if you're wrong? what if that's not a big picture of him? what if, that's really him! smiling so brightly at the top of your funeral.

gosh.

that sounded so wrong.

but damn.

that kind of situation is even better than him being... you slowly closed your eyes, and took a deep breathe. before opening your eyes again, you made a wish, "i wish inside that casket, is me. not him."

but "...fuck." it wasn't you.

this wasn't your funeral.

you scanned the whole funeral, still processing, still denying, but as soon as you spotted— your least favorite junior —nanami kento, your heart shattered once again. 

that guy always looks stoic. but right now, he's looking up, as he tries so hard not to let a fucking tear dropped on his face.

"ah." by just staring at him. you already knew. you knew that you lost someone, again. you looked down, bit your under lip, as you tried so hard not to cry. "fuck why?" 

and then suddenly, you realized that. for you, you only lost haibara. but for them, they lost two. 

they lost you too.

you stopped biting your lip, and silently cried. 

later that day, you heard something and realized that they didn't only lose two people.