Waltzing With the Wolves

Chapter 19

Two things are drawing closer in my life.

Iffat's exams and my own Quran competition.

I say in my life, because Iffat's exams directly affects me. I think I know how she feels. I cannot imagine staying at home doing nothing after school, I might run mad, and I think that is exactly what is happening to Iffat.

She's like a pressure pot boiling violently, the hot liquid spilling out and scalding everyone. I really try to understand her, I really do, but she seems to be getting worse.

Last week, she scattered my entire cupboard because she thought she saw her jeans there, and called me a liar and a thief. She was so angry I didn't say anything, afraid she would hit me. She ended up finding the jeans under her bed, and didn't apologize. I should have told her to apologize, because it feels I have been lugging something heavy inside me, begging to come out and tell her what she's been doing is wrong.

There was also the issue of cooking. Iffat doesn't want to cook anymore. If Mummy forces her, especially when Daddy is not around, she would make nonsense. I once saw her toss rice without rinsing it inside boiling water, and even cook vegetables without rinsing. Again, I could not report her to Mummy even as we ate the rice, and I thought I was going to be sick afterwards.

And now, she locks the room because she says I distract her from reading. So before I go to school everyday, I make sure to take out my clothes that I would wear upon returning. I was only allowed inside the room to sleep. I tried to complain, but Iffat said I was selfish, and that since I was the only one passing, I didn't care if she did.

Of course I cared that she passed, so that was why I have no choice but to leave the room for her.

When I look away from my Quran I am practicing in class, I catch Nasir's eyes on me. He looks away fast, but not fast enough. He has been doing that since the time on the roof some days ago, and we haven't spoken since then.

I keep my eyes on him as he stylishly tries to look my way again. When he spots me looking, he quickly removes his eyes again. He leans forward and scribbles in a book, and when I am sure he won't look my way again, I return to my Quran.

"Hmm," I hear someone say. I raise my head again. Yusrah is wiggling her brows at me.

"What?" I ask her.

"Nothing oo," Yusrah sits at my desk. "Nothing at all. I just noticed someone looking at someone she said she doesn't like oo."

"I wasn't looking at anyone."

"Hmm, Nadeen!" Yusrah doesn't believe me. Aisha walks past, and she stops, her attention caught.

"What happened to Nadeen?" She asks Yusrah.

"She was romancing Nasir with her eyes and she's now denying it," Yusrah says.

"I was not..."

"Ah!" Aisha closes her mouth and giggles as she leans closer to Yusrah, her head shaking in my direction. I don't even know why Yusrah will tell such to Aishah, we aren't even close to begin with and she could easily believe it.

"Very soon now she'll now be running off with him to do what they do in all these Harlequin books," Yusrah giggles.

As the two of them laugh, heat bubbles in me. I stand from my seat and leave the classroom, and the only place I can think of heading to is the rooftop. I just need to be away from everyone. If only I could be, just far away, in those houses they show on, cabins- they call them. I want to stay in a cabin in a deep forest, and just stay there doing nothing. I don't know why, but I really want that lately.