Back To Brookes // back to barnes bk2

4: needing a crutch

      In the morning, at an hour I wasn't sure of because we had no clocks, we both got out of bed in silence after forehead kisses and tight hugs. I had realized it at many moments: we were both in denial. Maybe if we didn't talk about it, maybe if we just carried on as usual, it would go away. But here we were, him tossing me a box of cereal as he holds a piece of bread in his mouth, and me wearily looking out the window in silence - super soldiers miles away from home and normality, confronting nothing.

I didn't want to move on with the day. I just wanted to go back to sleep.

Opening the cardboard flap on the box, I turned around and watched Bucky pull on a heavy coat. He smiled at me with a full mouth. I smiled back in a forced manner as I shoved a handful of gross cereal in my mouth.

I myself was standing there in sweatpants, a long-sleeve shirt, and another heavy coat. It was cold. There seemed to be two of everything in the closet I had yet to dig through. That made me wonder.

"Where did all of this come from?" I asked in a mumbled voice.

He looked up at me from beside the kitchen door, a bottle of water in hand. "Hmm?"

"The stuff." I spoke a little louder, still not comfortable with talking too much. "The clothes, the food, the towels . . . all of it?"

He walked over, his posture casually slumped in a manner not his usual, and leaned against the wall beside me. "Captain Rogers. Or . . . Steve." He nodded slowly and to himself, as if making sure. "Well," He cleared his throat. "More specifically, the house is an old safe-house of someones. I forget who. They used to live here when not in the hands of SHIELD. But Steve had given me a credit-"

"Why?" I asked, taking his water from him and hoping he wouldn't notice. He didn't. "Why was Steve involved?" Calling him by his first name felt weird to even me.

Bucky sighed, tilting his head back on the wall. I put the bottle and box on the floor, assuming position with leaning my forehead on the wall beside him.

"You, um . . . When you- I mean," He tiptoed around his words, cautious. "After you left, I was left alone in my cell for days. Days and days and no one came. I swear I was on the brink of insanity . . . " He inhaled. "But then Steve came in and took me outside and put me in a helicopter. He didn't say a word, I didn't say a word, and my cuffs stayed on. We flew for ages before we settled down here. Without a word, he unloaded a few backpacks and a wallet that he made sure I saw. He quietly told me where we were, though I had been studying the panel the whole time and had memorized it all." He gave me a wink as if trying to make it funny, though we both knew the weight of that day. "We then flew to Gehenna. A ways away, of course . . . He looked me in the eye and told me to save you, no matter the costs. I got out and he left . . . " He stood up straight, clearing his throat. "I won't go into detail of what happened next. But the wallet had a credit card and new ID's, so James Barnes and Maisie Brookes are officially missing and . . . " He pulled the wallet from his back pocket, opening it and handing me a card. "Johannah and James Detrych are ghosts. Quiet citizens." He smiled, showing me his.

I stood straight, clapping mine against my hand and looking at him. "My middle name."

"That's right, Maisie Jo." He tapped my nose. "And mine's just my first name because Steve was being really original apparently." He looked at his ID with a smile, then back at me. "But that catches you up, then."

"Yes, it does, James." I nodded, and handed him my ID to keep in his wallet. "You saved me and Steve helped. My American heroes." I put my hands on his cheeks and got on my toes to kiss his forehead. He smiled genuinely, seeing me come back a little. He pulled me close and rested his chin on my head.