Ronny

Chapter 20

"Okay enough boy drama, Taylor Swift or Rihanna for the drive?" Alyssa changes the conversation and I'm grateful.

Boys are stressful.

Maybe I should be into girls.

"Rihanna!" I tell Alyssa, and she hands me her phone to put on her playlist.

And for the rest of the drive, I forget about Ronny ignoring me and Blake possibly liking me, I just enjoy myself with my friend.

———

"Sit up straighter" Papa snaps at me. I do, although I didn't think my posture was bad to begin with.

I am at another event with Papa, but this time it is just me and him, and it is in some bar downtown.

He didn't say why Avery and Mama didn't come, and I didn't want to question him. I have been deathly afraid of Papa since that night.

I only interacted with him once since them when I snuck downstairs for a pop tart in the middle of the night and he happened to be getting food from the fridge.

He asked me how my studies have been, pretending like he hadn't beat me unconscious two weeks prior.

I have tried to shake away the sick feeling I get when I look at him or pass him in my house, but I can't.

I can't see my Papa anymore, I only see the look in his eyes as he hit me and yelled at me.

"Steven, it's been too long." A man approaches me and Papa and shakes his hand. I assume this is who we are here for, and take this as my cue to turn away and daydream about being asleep in bed right now.

"Marcus, always a pleasure." Papa says to the man, Marcus. "You remember my daughter, Adelina, don't you?" Papa puts his arm on my shoulder and I feel my heart leap out of my chest at the contact.

"Ah of course. You have grown up so nicely." He smirks to me, his eyes trailing my body. I give him a tight lipped smile and wish for nothing more than to be ignored for the next hour and sit silently.

If he wanted to flaunt a daughter to a business partner, why wouldn't he bring Avery?

"I have to make a phone call, I will be back. Get to know eachother." Papa says, looking to me when he says the last bit.

I feel my eyes physically widen when he says that. Is he setting me up with this man?

I look to Marcus and I feel doubt that Papa would do that. Marcus is in his thirties and I have no idea who he is. Does he expect me to get with him? Would he really do that to me?

Papa leaves and I feel myself start to freak out at being alone with this man.

Luckily the bar is fairly crowded tonight, so I'm not actually alone with him.

"I remember meeting you when you were just eight years old." Marcus smiles to me, scooting his chair closer to mine.

"And now you're all grown up." He adds, making me feel disgusted. I lean back to create some space between us, my throat starting to hurt at myself holding back tears.

Why am I even about to cry? Stop being a baby Lina.

"I need to go." I say, standing up to leave. "Adelina" Marcus stands and puts his hand on my waist to stop me.

"Please don't touch me." I say, tears in my eyes at the memories of what Mr. Edwards did to me, and now this man is touching me and I feel like I have no control of myself.

"Your father—

"I don't care what he promised you, I am leaving." I brush past him, a tear slipping out of my eye as I do. I see Papa having a drink at the other end of the bar and flirting with some woman.

I push past the doors, wanting nothing more than to be home. The cool night air makes me feel a little better. I'm wearing pants and a nice blouse that I had felt confident in, but after Marcus' eyes were staring at me I feel awful about myself.

My eyes are blurry as I walk the streets staring at my feet, wondering why I even try with my family any more. Papa is surely going to punish me for walking out on his friend, and Mama and Avery would probably just laugh and enjoy me being hurt.

When Ronny comes into my mind, more tears escape. My first friend hates me because I was an idiot and tried to kiss him. I know I'm being dramatic, and I only knew Ronny for like a month and a half, but what can I say I get easily attached.

I wander around for a while, until I forget everything I am worried about, and until I build up the courage to go home.

The walk home is thirty minutes, and by the time I get there, I am relieved when every light is off signaling my family is asleep.

I creep up into my bedroom and feel comfort when I successfully lock my door behind me.

I stand there for a minute, my feet aching from the walk, and my eyes hurting from holding in tears for the past hour.

I stare at my room for a solid five minutes until my eyes land on a small cross necklace I keep on my dresser when I don't wear it.

Kicking off my shoes, I decide I should go to church tomorrow morning, since I haven't been in a few weeks. Sometimes I get so busy I completely forget about it. I know that's awful, but it just happens.

I mean I still pray every morning and night. And for homeless people when I see them. And homeless dogs.

My pajamas for tonight are cute little cartoon puppies on a soft blue fabric, feeling extra soft since I shaved my legs today.

Todays love is the feeling of soft materials on freshly shaven legs.

My loves are getting too weird.

I flop on my bed and snuggle under the large covers, wanting them to swallow me up.

———

Ugh guys I had hoco last night and I had too much to drink and now I feel awful.

My friend threw up in my bathroom now it stinks and I have to clean it up :(

Also I was all over this guy at a party who's cute and now I'm scared he thinks I'm weird and I have to see him at school on Monday! This is so embarrassing maybe I will keep y'all updated 🫣

(he did get my # and snap tho so maybe he doesn't think I'm weird...) I'm delusional.

Anyway....hope you liked this chapter! Maybe I'll post 2 today

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