A Royal Accident (A British Royal Family Fanfiction)

St Andrews

William's tutor was lovely about the situation. She asked about Alice and how she was and said that she was more than welcome at her lectures any time. My tutor was slightly less understanding and was disappointed about the amount of work I had done since Alice was born. I tried to explain that I'd been busy and having a baby and still doing a university course from the other end of the country was actually quite hard, but she didn't seem to care. My tutor had always been a bit of a battle-axe even when I first started, so I guess I shouldn't expect the treatment now to be any better. I felt awful, when William walked back from university towards the house.

"Why don't we go for a coffee? Your mother will be alright with Alice for a little bit longer." William suggested. I agreed and we walked over to the coffee shop around the corner from the house. I sat down, while William ordered us two coffees. And when he returned to the table, I had tears in my eyes. "Hey, don't get upset, she's just a bully." he said, reaching out and holding onto my hand across the table.

"I know, but she just had no sympathy at all. I don't want a pity party, but she could have cut me a little bit of slack." I said. William reached into his pocket and passed me a tissue which I used to wipe my face as the waitress brought us our coffees.

"She's just a grumpy old woman, I know how hard you've worked, and so do your parents, that's all that matters." Will said, once the waitress had gone.

"Clearly not hard enough." I told him, picking up my coffee and taking a sip.

"Remember though, she has nothing to do with the marking of your work. Your tutor is just there for support, if you need it. I bet that nice lecturer you told me about will be more understanding, and she actually teaches you, so she knows what's going on. You could send her an email to ask to meet with her." Will suggested.

"You're right. I'm just being stupid. I haven't been able to get a proper hold of my emotions since Alice was born." I said.

"And that's ok, your body went through so much. It still is going through so much with feeding her. Maybe you just need a good night's sleep. I'll do Alice's late feed tonight, give you a chance to get some proper sleep." he said, holding onto my hand again.

"I'd really appreciate that." I replied, squeezing his hand in mine. We chatted for a little while longer as we finished our coffees before walking back to the house. Liv and Fergus were both out at their lectures, and my mother wasn't there either. She must have taken Alice for a walk or something. The post had been delivered and there was a card for me. I recognised the handwriting on the front as my father's. I opened it and inside was a card, which read Good Luck on the front. Inside he had written,

Dear Kate,

I wanted to write to wish you the best of luck as you return to university. I know the past few months haven't been easy but it has been my life's honour to see you grow up into such a kind and caring young woman. I know that Alice is so lucky to have you, and you shouldn't ever forget that.

Love always, Daddy xxx

I smiled, once I'd read the letter, wiping the tears that came to my eyes. William put his arm around me.

"I told you, didn't I?" he whispered as he hugged me, and I smiled.

"I know, you're right." I said.

"Just say that again, what was it?" Will joked as he pulled away from me.

"You were right, there I said it. Don't get used to it." I giggled.

After a few weeks of having my mother in Scotland with us, it was soon time for her to go home. It was both lovely and rather strange having her come to my university house every day and look after my daughter. She met my friends and we drank wine together and it made me feel like an adult, whilst at the same time, making me feel like a child again. I desperately wanted her to stay, she was so amazing with Alice and it was reassuring to have her there, but at the same time, I wanted to live without her looking over my shoulder, sometimes hypothetically. I knew she was doing it because she cared. It had only been in the last few weeks that I've come to understand that love she has for me, the burning desire to keep me safe, while also wanting me to be happy and free. I understood that, now I had Alice, because as much as I wanted to wrap her in cotton wool, I also wanted her to live a life that she would enjoy without the constraints of her mother around her. I had found that so far, motherhood had been filled with difficult this or that decisions, some more serious than others. Like do I let Alice cry a little when she's trying to go to sleep, or do I go in as soon as she does, in fear that she's traumatised for the rest of her life. Even the smallest decisions, like how many layers to put her in when we went out, I found difficult.

"I got this framed for you." My mother said, as we stood in my bedroom on the morning that she was leaving. She was holding a white shopping bag, which she handed to me. I opened the bag and pulled out a photo frame with Alice's official christening photo inside. William and I were sat on the sofa with Alice in our arms, with Will's father, brother and grandparents around him. As well as my parents and siblings, were all six of Alice's godparents too.

"Thank you Mummy, it's beautiful." I said, placing the picture frame on the chest of drawers in my bedroom, before hugging my mother. "I love it, thank you."

"You're welcome." she said as we pulled away from each other. "Hey, what's with the tears?" she asked, using the sleeve of her jumper to wipe my face.

"I'm just sad you're going I guess." I told her.

"Oh Catherine, you knew that I had to go at some point." she smiled. "Come here." she pulled me back into a hug. "It won't be long, before you're back home for the holidays, leaving your stuff all over the kitchen and winding your sister up. And you know why you're here, don't you?" I shook my head as I rested on her shoulder. "Because you are going to work hard, so that you can get a great job, to live an amazing life for your little girl. You aren't just working hard for you anymore. But I don't need to tell you that. I know that you're doing everything you can for her already."

"But what if I can't do it without you?" I questioned as she stroked my hair.

"Catherine, you're already doing it, you don't need me, you never did. You were just scared, and I held your hand for a little while, like I used to when you were little, at night time, and now I know you're safe, and I can let go." she said. "I promise you, I wouldn't let go if I didn't think you were ready."