a song for us

chapter 1 : seed of hope

"seriously, taeyang. how much longer will you keep doing this ? me & your dad tolerated it for long enough because you said it's your dream, and our duty as parents was to support you." mom looks at me, heaving an irritated sigh.

"but now LOOK AT THIS !! what is this result ? not even ONE A+ ?? you didn't fail by the struck of luck. but this is still humiliating ! what will we tell others ? how will we show our face ?"

it was always like this. study this, career that, society those blah blah blah. do they even care about my feelings ? "we supported you" my a**, you guys took away my phone for a month for it.

"taeyang park, answer us. what good came out of your nonsense ? didn't you say agencies will come after you because you are just soo good at everything ? you got rejected, THRICE. stop this madness." 

"i guess she is just not cut out for it." dad says, his eyes still glued to my report card.

"what do you mean ? not cut out for what exactly ?" i said, feeling annoyed.

"everything. you are a disgrace. you can't do anything properly and then expect us to provide you with all of your ridiculous needs ?! you are 19 ! i should have kicked you out the moment you started having those delusional fantasies." my dad screamed, throwing a nasty look at me.

seriously, what's his deal ? he stays out half of the day. even when he comes home he's all about my brother taeyeon. does he even know me well ? 

"honey, stop it .. the neighbors will hear."

"take her out of my sight. i don't want to see her face ever again." my dad said as he tore my report card.

"take this. take this & leave. step foot in my house only the day you are worthy of doing it." he says as he proceeds to throw the ripped printed page in my face. 

"HONEY NO !! WHAT ARE YOU SAYING ?!" my mom cried out hysterically. 

"pack her bags. i will drop her at her grandma's in the countryside. she is better suited there." dad scoffs.

anger starts to bubble up inside me. what did i do so wrong ? i just wanted to pursue my dream, was it such a crime ? 

i brush off the torn pages of me and take a deep breathe. "you don't have to drop me off, i can manage by myself." i say as i hold back my tears.

"oh really ? finally something good from you. you saved me. now, please get out of my sight."

"yeah, gladly." i said as i rolled my eyes at him.

i run off to my room as my dad starts to scream again. "DID YOU SEE WHAT SHE DID ?! THE AUDACITY OF THAT B**** !!!"

i close my door and start to pack my bags. tears well up and i was unable to hold them back. really, would the child me ever think that something like this could happen ?

i wash my face and brush my hair. i take the money i saved from doing part-time job last month and open my door. as i was closing it, i heaved a sigh.

"i will come back here, better than ever. i promise."

i stand in front of the main door when suddenly mom clasps my hands. 

"taeyang .. im so sorry that i am unable to do anything." she sobbed.

"don't be sorry, it's not your fault. one day i will come & take both you and taeyeon with me." i smile as i brush away her tears. "please let taeyeon i love him and i will miss him ardently once he comes back from school." my heart ached at the thought of my brother.

"i will tell him, please be safe" my mom says as she hugged me. "i love you."

i break away from her hug & start to make my way. "i love you too." 

and like that, the door to that house was closed for me, hopefully not forever.

**********************************

i was walking through the streets of Seoul aimlessly, taking in what just happened. i was happy to break free from my family's shackles, but i was also in disbelief & agony that my dad could do this to me.

"whatever, i will find a part-time job somewhere. as for where to stay .. Hwari said she needed a roommate ! i will contact her." 

but as i dialed her number, someone else called out to me.

"um .. excuse me ? are you Miss Taeyang Park ..?" a man in his 30s dressed in suits asked me.

"ah .. yes. that's me, and you are ?" i eyed him suspiciously.

"no need to be alert, Miss Park. i am Hueyeong Kim, General Manager at TGI Entertainment." he says as he extends a business card. 

"we were very impressed seeing your dance & vocal covers on your social media page. so we are attempting to reach out to you. think about our offer and call me in the number stated on this card. we eagerly await it." the man nods politely and left after he says so.

i clasp onto the card at my hand as i start to shake with excitement. is this really happening ? this is not a dream right ..? even if it is,i hope i never wake up from it. 

"umm .. hello ? taeyang, what happened ? speak up." 

"HWARI !!! IT'S FINALLY HAPPENING !!" i scream with excitement, rendering weird looks from people. but i didn't care.

"girl, what happened ? i don't understand."

"TGI Entertainment reached out to recruit me !!"

"SAY WHAT ?!!" Hwari screamed with joy. "I AM SO PROUD OF YOU."

"THIS IS SO COOL !!!"

we laughed and talked for a while as i walked to her apartment. after talking with her i put away my phone & heave a sigh of relief. 

"i guess a seed of hope .. has been sown. now i need to nurture it." i smiled to myself.

"i can do it."