Little Bird

8

"I just had to sit up there in that damn ready room and watch helplessly while the only family I've ever known act like stubborn 5 year old's and plummet towards the ground while arguing about something neither one has decided to share with me. So don't try and pull that shit with me Bradley. Get your shit together and just tell me what really happened between you two."

Rooster says nothing.

He just stands there looking at me, pale faced and quiet. Well, I've had enough. Shoving Rooster back, I start moving back towards the building. I turn on my heels and start running back into the building hoping to get away from prying eyes before my panic attack fully sets in.

I finally am able to find an empty room and run inside, closing the door behind me. I slide down the wall and put my head between my knees and try to even out my breathing.

After a minute of my breathing refusing to even out, the door opens and Bob hurries in.

"Dove! I've been looking everywhere for you." He kneels down in front of me. "Ok Dove I'm going to need you to focus and follow my lead ok?" He adds, grabbing hold of my hands and tipping my head up to look into his eyes. He begins taking deep breaths and motions for me to follow.

After a few minutes my breathing evens out and I'm able to take deep full breaths.

"How did you know what to do?" I ask, my voice still shaky.

"I get panic attacks too sometimes. They started when I was young. My mom had me see someone to help me find ways to help." He answered, still holding my hands in his.

"Well thank you for finding and helping me. I've never had one this bad before." I say lowering my head in embarrassment.

Bob reaches out and gently lifts my chin with his thumb and index finger, forcing me to look into his eyes again. "Don't be embarrassed little bird, these things happen to lots of people, especially those with our job description. You just went through a lot today. Anyone in that position would have struggled with it. So your mind dealt with it in the form of a panic attack, so what? That doesn't change how strong you are."

I hold his stare for a few minutes before nodding. "Thank you again Bob, it really means a lot to me that you came to find me."

"I was worried about you. Had to make sure you were ok after all of that." He settles himself onto the ground fully, looking as if he was contemplating asking me something else. After a few minutes of silence he looked up, "Do you know what triggered your panic attack?" He finally asked.

"I've gotten them a lot since my mother's funeral." I paused for a second to catch my breath, afraid this might trigger another panic attack.

Once I was sure I was ok I continued, looking down at my shaky hands. "Mav flew with our father back in the day. Dad was his RIO. During their time here at Top gun they were in a 'rivalry' of sorts with Iceman. During a training drill towards the end of the program Maverick had flown through Iceman's jet fuel and got caught in a flat spin. He couldn't level them out and they had to eject. Dad hit his head on the canopy on the way out. He was dead before he even hit the water."

I looked up at Bob to see he had given me his undivided attention, giving me the confidence to continue.

"Mom had brought Bradley out here to visit dad. She had just found out she was pregnant with me and was so excited to tell dad, the accident had occurred before she had the chance to. After that day Maverick had sort of stepped up as a father figure for Bradley and I, so when they had that big argument after mom's funeral and decided to leave me in the dark, both of my relationships were strained." I looked back down at my hands.