Fortress Vader

Seventeen - Iconoclast

I return my eyes to him, feeling the heat from his stare like a second sun. He wears his signature black cloak, the hood pulled down to reveal his dark hair. It's longer than I've ever seen it, long enough to grab onto. I know that from the night before.

"Just, things, sir," I mutter, deciding a step toward him is better than standing on the edge any longer. He shifts, allowing me space while somehow giving me none at all.

"What things?" he asks in a darker voice, the one he must know warms my lady parts. The chills it gives me are rather unrelated to the fear it is supposed to elicit.

"I'm overwhelmed by the size of the Star Destroyer." I can't meet his eyes. As always, it isn't a lie. I don't lie to him.

"And?"

My heart is once again slamming against my chest, unable to discern between lust and fear. For me, perhaps, they aren't as different as I think.

"I irritated the admiral," I admit, though neither of those are why I tossed a beautiful bouquet over the cliff. Still, if there is a chance we can get through this confrontation without me admitting how much he makes me feel, I'll be counting my blessings tonight.

"That's his problem. I spoke with Captain Crook, you did fine. What else?"

Something flutters around in my stomach, and I wonder if he saw me throw the flowers.

I swallow, noticing his eyes dart to my neck as I do. He does that a lot. When they return to mine, I look down and muse on why I haven't tried walking away yet. Sometimes he lets me go. Not often, but sometimes.

"Someone gave me flowers," I mutter, feeling the heat rush to my face. I suddenly hope they are from him for the sole reason that Vader won't go hunt someone down and kill them. Of course, there is always the possibility that he'll kill his apprentice for it.

"And you...didn't like them?" he asks with skepticism, glancing to where I threw them. Yeah, he saw.

I shiver despite the heat and his eyes snap back to mine. Embarrassment returns in full force when I realize it had taken someone immense effort to get them here before they wilted.

I look back toward the palace, wishing I was anywhere else. I'd take Vader's torture over this conversation.

"They felt like a jab," I admit quietly. "Lord Vader has made it clear I am untouchable to men. The idea that I might one day have someone care about me is laughable." My lips curl into a snarl on the last word, but I catch it quickly, still looking anywhere but at the man before me. "And if you must know, they caused the feelings I said I don't want," I finish, still sounding bitter. I go around him then, deciding to chance it.

Perhaps because he knows my team is likely watching us, he follows.

"What feelings are those?" He's really going to press this? Years of never speaking about whatever this sexual tension between us is, and now in less than a full rotation he eats me out, gives me flowers, and wants to talk?

It isn't hard to understand why I'm not ready for this. If I start opening up, it's likely a dam will break. I may be good at staying silent, may be good at shoving my feelings away, but I can feel the boiling point approaching.

"I'm not comfortable telling you that." Honesty is always best with him.

The entrance looms closer, growing larger as I near it. I'm not running, but...

"Tell me," he growls.

"With all due respect sir, I think I am allowed to keep them to myself." Well, now I've denied him and Vader for the first time in mere days. I'm either brave or stupid.