A new jeans book of one shot accepting requests fluff and angst. Some parts may contain a little explicit content please read at you own risk and likings.
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The night never seems so warm when you have a woman like Danielle Marsh beside you,a feeling that you just can't describe. How many times your heart do flips of having the ausie girl beside you, the way it beats like a drum being hit in a multiple max power of the drumstick, the way her laughter echo in your ears.
Maybe you've gone crazy, maybe you are insane, maybe you are nothing but a woman who is totally in love with her even you know crossing the path between Friends to lovers is a really risky way. Did she once mention she loves you and yes, you do expect she mean more than friends.
"y/n-nie" Danielle calls your name, it is so wonderful how her voice became a music in your ears, how its perfect tune rings in your head. Maybe you are just too in love.
"nae?" you asked back as you give her a little glance got little stiff when your eyes locks on hers, swearing thirty times for falling harder than you ever do.
"i love you alright?" she said with a smile on her lips, with a eyes shining like the stars how can she drive you crazy just by hearing those words.
"i love you as well Dani, you are very important to me" indirect way of saying you treasure her the most will be the best choice. Yes, you're just a big ass coward who can't even form one sentence of saying you love her more than what the two of you have.
"i am so happy because you are my best friend" she said as she shiver a little at the cold air.
Im not happy because i don't wanna be your friend anymore, i wanna be your lover Marsh... I wanna be the one....
You sigh, you can't even voice those words out, kinda regretting being a hopeless coward. One day you will wake up in a cold air, and the feeling that you never uttered will remain unspoken.
"i am too...im grateful" you said with a hint of bitterness in your voice, you know she is not yours, she was never yours...
"i love you my Y/n-ah" she said again, and it feels so great even if it feels so wrong to enjoy those words, the words that are lock of confirmation.
The night never feels so cold as here you are, standing at the same rooftop looking at the skies, letting the tears fall from your eyes. You should have known that she doesn't mean that she loves you in a same way you did, in a same way you thought she did. At this moment you are alone, let the cold air hugs your body, shivers goes up and down, tears keeps falling as you are slowly freezing to death.
"i give everything, i treat her better...i am the one to begin with but i am not the one to end the book with..." you fake chuckle as you remember how many tries you do, just to make her see what she deserves to be treated with and you hope you'll be the one who will gave her what she deserve and more than she deserve
But things aren't mean to happen in what you have planned. The days you dream about of watching the sunrise and sunsets with her,will never come, the dreams you have build inside your head and your heart will never happen.
She is meant to be with someone she really like and it just happens that it isn't you, and you are is her best friend from the beginning up until now, so why are you so bitter of it?
"y-y/n-nie..." you hear her voice, so you wipe your face as you look behind to see her standing at the door, with worry on her face
"Hey" you greet trying not to make it sounds so awkward, trying not to make her see that you're hurting too much "you should go to your fiancé" you tell her, another fibs you can pull to push her away, to finally distant yourself to her, embrace the fact that you are not the one for her.
"can i ask you something?" she asked you sat at the carpeted ground of your rooftop and sigh
"yeah, go ask anything" you said coldly
"do we have a problem?, did i do something for you to treat me like a stranger?" she said looking at you with pain in her face
It is funny how you can see her pain just by looking at those beautiful chocolate orbs but the way she can't see how much you love her and it hurts you to see her with someone is very frustrating.
"there is nothing wrong...you did nothing" you said reaching out for the can of the beer and resting your back at the couch and chugging down at the can
"then what is the problem?" she asked
"me" you said shortly "i am the problem" you said, as you sigh keeps drinking hopefully be drunk and just for one second the knife in your heart will stop cutting you despite of being bleeding too much the knife never stops to make you break and part your heart into pieces.
"you can always tell me Y/n" she said that make you scoffed
"i can tell you?" you said looking at her holding the emotions , the frustration , the sadness and everything you feel at this moment.
"yes" she said and just looking at you
"im in love with you" you said as you chuckle trying to shove the thought of after this you will lose her, probably.
"y/n, we can't entertain your feelings more further because im engage stop that...stop loving me please" she said and you wonder does she ever tried to think before she say those words?
"i know...i know Danielle, don't you think i haven't even tried?" you said.
If this is the last time you want her to hear every little painful words from you, you are so tired of keeping it finally the words you never say will never remain unspoken.
"y/n...i love you as a friend" she said and here the confirmation of her i love yous
I am nothing but a friend, a friend only.
"my bad, i thought when you say you love me i think you mean the other way" you said as your tears fell again as you looked down
"look, its better if we never see each other again..." she said.
You know this will happen, you should never tell her that yet it happens already
"we better be..." all you can say "be happy with Haerin" you said as you lay down back facing her.
Hearing those footsteps slowly disappear, the tears had burst out the pain is hard to bare you should know this better you are so stupid...
"i thought its hard to be a friend...but i realize its much harder to be your friend only"-Y/n
