part 17

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mattheo woke up cold. charlottes cold hands were wrapped around his, holding her tightly. she had told him that she loved him. it wasn't a small thing. he didn't know what to do, what to say, if he should say anything at all. he had said it back and kissed her and slept with her wrapped around him. she was the realest thing he had, and he wasn't ready to let it go, ever. she looked peaceful sleeping, in a way she rarely looked awake, and the thought gnawed at him. he pried himself off and away from her, moving to get dressed. he put on black trousers and a white button up shirt, and went downstairs to get breakfast. his housekeeper, Esmeralda, was making bacon and toast on the stove. it smelt delicious, like all of her food did, but he knew this one would make him feel better after his stressful morning of thinking.

he always made breakfast for charlotte when she woke up, so esmeralda didn't have to, and also because he liked doing things for her, like making her happy. he wondered if the reliance he had on her wasn't a good thing, if he should find other things to make him happy besides her, but then it occurred to him that maybe she was the only thing that could make him happy. maybe he relied on her because she was the only person he could trust. he wouldn't doubt it, from the start of their friendship, charlotte had been as loyal as a friend could be. she truly was perfect, and mattheo didn't use the word lightly either, she just was. the way she did her hair and how she smelt, her freckles and eye color, her laugh and stupid expressions, everything about her was absolutely perfect to him.

he start alone, with esmeralda and his thoughts as he ate. he loved spending time with esmeralda, no matter if he was in the mood to talk or sit in silence, she could always read the room. she had known him since he was a baby, and maybe that was why she knew him so well, or maybe it was that esmeralda was a warm person, the kind you trusted with your secrets, and came to with your sorrows. she was like a mother to him. as he finished breakfast and esmeralda went about to do the house chores, he decided he should wake charlotte up. he had wanted to take her for a stroll through the garden, and today, he felt, was the perfect day.

he walked into his room to find charlotte, sitting in the middle of his king sized bed, clutching the sheets to her body. she was staring intently at his wall and she looked sort of haunted.
"charlotte," he said gently, "are you alright?"
"i-" she started before cutting herself off and taking a deep. "i told you i love you, didn't i?" she asked, looking nauseated and a bit frightened.
"charlotte, it's really okay." he assured her. her eyes filled with a look of horror at the confirmation of her actions.
"so i did?" she asked.
"yes." he replied not wanting to embarrass her any more.

she got up from the bed and rushed to his bathroom. he knew her remembering what happened would throw her off a little, but he had no idea it would make her physically ill. she came back from the bathroom looking ashamed and just downright sad, and mattheo just couldn't bear to see her disappointment any longer. he pushed aside his pride and said, "i said it back you know."

charlottes eyes snapped up to his, "you didn't."
he felt himself laugh a little as he said, "i did."
her eyes widen a little, like they did when she was really surprised, and mattheo felt like he loved her more and more by the minute.

"well why'd you do that?" she asked, clearly surprised.
"cause i do," he said, rolling his eyes at her ignorance.
she settled back into his bed, wrapping his sheets back around her cold, narrow shoulders, "do what?" she asked cunningly.
"i do love you," he said, moving to sit on the bed next to where she lay. he tickled her sides and felt love swell in his heart as he watched her laugh. he leaned down and kissed her, because he loved her so much, and he didn't really know if there was a word big enough to describe how he felt about her. he hoped he'd never lose her, he hoped they'd never end, he didn't know what he would do without her, had no idea how he would live a life without her in it. he pulled away to look at her, beautiful charlotte, and then leaned down and kissed her again.

"come on," he said, "i wanna show you the gardens today."  she went back to her room to get dressed, and when they met at the stairwell, she was wearing dark blue jean shorts and a white tee shirt. he grabbed her hand and led her to the gardens. he showed her thousands of opulent flowers, all of which she took direct interest to. he loved watching her look at all of them, loved watching her love them, knowing that love would never compare to what he felt for her.
"what'd you tell cedric?" he asked, when they sat at a bench in the middle of a patch of hydrangeas, "when you were in the closet?" he clarified.
"i told him i was seeing someone," she said, blushing lightly.
he smiled, "are we seeing eachother?" he asked, raising his eyebrows at her in question.
"i'd say so." she said nodding and looking off like she was considering it carefully.
"we'll then i guess i have a question," he said with a wide grin, looking down at her.

"charlotte," he said looking at her in a way one could only describe as adoringly, "be my girlfriend?" he watched as a large smile overtook her features, she nodded before moving onto his lap and kissing him happily. he walked her back to the manor a while after, and once again, he led her into his room to sleep, he wondered as she curled up against him in the dark and held his hand, if he'd ever be able to stop loving her. he didn't think so.

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