Falsettos, um,fanfiction...?

I'm Breaking Down

I'd like to be a princess. To have a country I could call my own. And a king, who's lusty and requires a girl who wants him as much as he wants her. Did you ever hear the expression: "Men will be men"? It's often used so that men can do whatever the hell they want. I never said it ever again after I found my husband grabbing his lover's ass in the den. You know, I shouldn't be too hard on him...I mean, he tried to be what he was not... and he was...not. What I mean is, he's a queen, I'm a queen! Where is my crown? Oh shit. Not right now, please. I take three deep breaths. I don't have time for a breakdown now. I have to continue making my banana carrot cake. I cut my finger while mincing the banana.

- SON OF A BITCH! I yell, hoping no one else was home.

I think back to my life. I hate admitting I've become perplexed, but I really have. I've been trying to figure out what possessed Marvin to cheat on me, but I can't seem to figure it out. I've cried, I've yelled, do you blame me? I have been deceived. I think back to Whizzer Brown. He's a really nice man. I know Jason loves him. I also know that Marvin loves him. I anger at the thought of Marvin and Whizzer. I mean, Whizzer is not so bad. It's just he's so damn happy that it makes me so damn mad. I wanna hate him but I really can't. My life's an absolute nightmare! I hope that Whizzer don't...fulfil his needs. Oh, shit that's mean. Oh, why do I care??? Shit, I'm breaking down. Yeah, you heard me. Breaking down. My life is shitty and my kid can't tell the difference between right and left. Wait, that's a terrible thing to say. Oh, fuck it. He's an idiot! Soon, I'll need pills to sleep because things will only worsen from here on out. I rethink the talks I've had with people and the only person who really understood and cared is, well...Mendel. MY HUSBAND'S FUCKING SHRINK. I might as well become an alcoholic. I'm really breaking down. I realize that every time me and Marvin "had fun", I emerged a fool for thinking that he could have actually loved me. I'm on the verge of a mental breakdown every single day. All I want is a man who can love me...or like me... help me...HELP ME. Marvin was never mine. He "took his meetings to the boys latrine" I used to cry all the time, he used to yell, I'd rather DIE THAN LIVE IN A WORLD WHERE WHIZZER AND MARVIN HAVE THEIR HAPPY ENDING. If they do, I'm really gonna break down. The only thing that's breaking up is my family, but me? I'm breaking down.