Before you go

Chapter Fourteen

By the time I'm done reading that letter, panic has begun to settle into my bones and my hands are shaking as I unfold the last letter. Ya Allah please make this a prank. Ya Rabb please, bah dan halina bah.

I open the letter and the moment I read the first paragraph, all hopes of it being a prank crash to the ground and it takes everything in me to finish reading the letter before I run out, heading straight for Ummi's room.

I stop by the door before remembering one of the phrases in Ruqayya's letter to me, it's an amanah. So I tuck the piece of paper into the pockets of the joggers I slept in and zip the pocket. I pat the pocket down and drop my oversized shirt, hoping that it's not obvious.

I find her talking to Aunty Hassana and I am so grateful that it's just them. I hand the letter over to them and start wringing my fingers.

Ummi doesn't read them immediately I give her, instead, she looks up at me with confusion.

"My reading glasses aren't close Fa'iza and I have a lot of things to do. Ruqayya hasn't come to me and the beautician is late." I gulp, no one knows.

"The letters are from Ruqayya, read them." Ummi frowns and stands up to find her reading glasses when Aunty Hassana stops her.

"Kawo in karanta miki." Ummi hands her the letters and Aunty Hassana's eyes widen before she clears her throat.

She reads the one addressed to Abba first, then the one addressed to Bello.

"Innalillahi wa Inna ilaihir rajiun. Have you tried calling her?" Ummi stands up, probably to look for her phone, but I stop her with my voice.

"I can't, her phone is still here, in the house. And I can't find my keys." Ummi sits back down, her head in her hands as she repeats the same supplication over and over again.

"Gashi Abban naku baya nan. He's on his way to meet Alhaji Kabir. Na shiga uku." Aunty Hassana pulls Ummi to her.

"Ai Dole kiranshi za'ayi ya dawo ya gane wa idonsa. Saboda wannan bah maganan da za'ayi a waya bane." Ummi nods, seemingly agreeing with Aunty Hassana. She stands up immediately and takes her phone.

I watch as she dials Abba's number and he doesn't pick twice, I can literally feel my nerves jump everytime the double sounds that indicate ringing comes.

When she calls the third time, he picks and she immediately breathes a sigh of relief together with her salam.

"Ameen wa alaikis salam, sweetie lafiya?" On a different occasion, I would've smiled because of Abba's endearment, but I want more than anything for him to come back home now.

"Toh, kawai dai ka dawo gida."

"Gida kuma? Ina wajan Alhaji Kabir ne. Muna maganan dan get together da zamuyi after daurin aure ne while ku kuma kuna can gida. Meya faru?" I hear Ummi take a deep breath.

"Dan Allah ka dawo, akwai matsala ne, and I can't sat it over the phone." Ummi sounds like she's about to burst into tears. Aunty Hassana immediately stands up and goes to Ummi's side. She holds her and runs her hand up and down her arm, probably to soothe her.

"Subhanallah, bari in dawo yanzu ina zuwa." Ummi ends the call and plops on the bed, burying her face in her hands as her shoulders shake with silent sobs.

"Where could she have gone to? Meye yake damun Ruqayya haka? Kaman wata karamar yarinya tsakani da Allah?" Aunty Hassana simply hugs Ummi, letting her cry in her arms.