Dark Night

Chapter - 7

August 12 2008

"I opened my eyes to see a white celing above me. I tried to get up as i felt like I was tied up, but i actually wasn't. I had a oxygen mask on my face, and all those bandages around my wounded parts of my body. I felt numb.

It looked like it was dark outside. I felt extremely tired and the wounds around my body hurted like hell. I couldn't remember anything, like everything was blank on my mind.

But, when my eyes looked at those scars around my body, everything came down attacking my mind. I remembered each and everything. Before i realised, warm tears streamed down my cheeks as i felt the same pain crept up into my heart.

'Was i that bad?' The question kept lingering on my mind, i couldn't even be grateful that i survived something so dangerous instead i was disappointed that my heart couldn't accept the truth and stayed in denial.

But, i poured my heart to myself. I cried and cried till i became numb, cried and cried till there was no tears left for me pour out. I only had myself to pour on to, I had myself as a shoulder as well as a shield. I tried to pour everything out as much as I can.

I promised myself to never let a tear, tear me down. I promised myself to be a lot stronger. But, only i could wish.

After a while the door in the room opened and a familiar woman walked inside, and it was my aunt. My eyes widened at the sight of her.

"How are you feeling, now?" She asked me as she took a seat beside me in the bed. I looked at her with confusion. She explained to me that my parents left me to burn in the old abandoned building. My aunt and my uncle along with Jennie followed us, because of us going to a different direction which made them suspicious. They saved me in time, right before the building burned as a whole. My heart ached when I heard that my parents left me to burn in the building, i couldn't believe her words, i was in strong delusion and denial.

I wished i could just disappear into thin air, where no one would search or look for me. All i wanna know is, why? Why? Why?

I tried to hold my tears, as she looked at me with the same concerned look, her eyes showed pity, which i absolutely hated right at that moment. I don't want people to pity me....

After few days in the hospital, we returned to their house. It all felt foreign, Jennie tried to comfort me all the time. She tried to pursue me with those sweet dreamy honey like words. But, i knew that, it was all just a flattering lie in my empty life that anyone would never wish to have it. I was tired of escaping from the reality.

Even though they all tried to cheer me up. I couldn't bring myself to be normal. I felt like my whole 11 years of life was a waste, I wished i could turn back time and change everything.

The overthinking, nightmares, desperate crying and denial was slowly killing me from inside. I felt like I was drowning, slowly yet painfully.

I couldn't show anything outside, all i wanted was to disappear, disappear from this cruel world. I wish I never existed.

One day, as I was sitting on my bed, reading a book, the door opened and it was Jennie. I wasn't surprised to see her, since we share the same room.

She sat beside me with a smile lingering on her lips, and explained to me how we're going to a same school together, tomorrow. I only felt the panic rose inside me, as the nightmares in my old school came down crashing inside my memories."

Jennie's heart ached as she read those painfully written words, from the old wrinkled paper in the old diary. She could see the tears in her eyes slowly dripping out from her eyes. She felt so helpless that it annoyed her.