Turn Right: A journey on the road takes an unexpected Turn... (COMPLETED)

Turn Right; Chapter 8

 She was looking at me like I was struggling to death, like I was about to die. I also feel like it. I feel like I was being stabbed over and over again. I felt like I was dying all over again. Recalling that night always makes me want to die, it was supposed to be me, not Jimmy. Not my brother there was still supposed to be a long life for him. Gray felt so sad for me that she grabbed my hand and enveloped me to a tight hug. She was now rocking me back and forth. She was cradling me like a child who lost her first ever doll. She was crying with me. We were crying our heart out. We stayed like that for who knows how long. When we were able to control ourselves I was already so exhausted from crying. I’ve been crying this day too much already. I felt like I could cry but tears will no longer leak from my eyes. I’ll cry dry tears, if that’s even possible. But I was relieved that I finally got to tell Gray, the most horrible part of my life. The one that before, was so hard for me to admit and makes me want to run and hide for the rest of my life. Now I can say that I finally am free. Telling Gray was my final step of letting Jimmy go. Thanks to Nick I was able to open up and finally free myself from the heavy feelings I have been bringing for the past years. And thanks to Gray for waiting, for understanding me. Now I can finally say that I am free.

“I’m so sorry Ash, I didn’t know it was that horrible. I didn’t know that it was something that heavy and so sad for you. I feel horrible. Curse those guys. Were they caught?” she stated sounding so hurt and distressed.

“No. Mom, says let their conscience chase them to death. But the police are still not giving up. Since my Mom and Dad didn’t officially declare the case closed, they’re still looking for them. I was able to remember the face of the one who stabbed Jimmy, but not clearly.” I told her as honestly as I can. I had a rough day which made me feel so weak. I might appear so tired that Gray’s expression softened, she looked at me like I really need to rest.

“Honey, you really need to rest now. I’ve beaten you emotionally. I didn’t mean to, I’m so sorry. You really need to sleep. You look awful. You need to rest those eyes, they won’t appear so good tomorrow, and of that I’m sure.”

Gray left my room thinking I was already asleep. I pretended to be, just to let her have a peace of mind, to think that I was already settled and comfortable. Well, who am I kidding, my eyes are tired, so is my body, my heart. Everything in me actually, except for my brain. I badly want and need to sleep, but I can’t.

That’s me, an over thinker, I think too much. Even small things keep me up all night. I don’t know why either, if that’s what you’re thinking, I just do.

I thought about Sterling, how sweet of him to check if I was fine, and suddenly I remembered our date. I actually forgot the exact day, was it Saturday or Sunday? He just asked me earlier but the details seemed foggy to me. Maybe because of the emotional breakdown I just had with Gray, but I’m certain I’ll remember it flawless in the morning. Then Nick’s face butt in. I hear his voice humming in my ears again, then I fell asleep dreamless.

The next day, I woke up late. I usually get up at around 6 during school days, but today, I woke up 7:05. Again! And because of that I spend a couple of hours in detention plus I get to go to school wearing my favorite vintage aviator Ray bans. Given the fact that my eyes are bloated, okay fine that’s an overstatement. But really my eye bags from last might didn’t wear off. I showered and all washed my face a couple of times really, it just won’t go away. Okay, now back to reality.

I was skulking inside the detention room when my phone rang. The detention teacher, Mr. Frostman shot me a put-that-phone-on-silent-now look. I mouthed sorry, and picked it up as fast as I can, because as you all know phone should be confiscated on detention but I’ve got connection ;). An unregistered number came up,