invisible string • Gracie Abrams

035 the question

charlotte shrugged, "i hated her at first. like, literally despised. but we both grew up thinking the worst of each other so she thought the same of me. after i found her heartbroken from her breakup at billie's birthday party, she took my drunk ass home and i woke up in her clothes and apartment."

"wow, okay that's a start."

"yeah, and then i wanted to make that up to her and i took her to lunch, and i guess slowly we realized that the other didn't suck as much as we thought? next thing i know we're texting and seeing each other a lot... she even saved my ass from a club and brought me home when i was drugged—"

"what?!"

"that's a story for another time," charlotte cringed. "couple days later... i figured out i liked her and turns out she liked me too 'cause she kissed me on her bathroom floor and the next day she asked if we could ever be together and i said yes."

maddie slowly nodded, "so like... just straight up enemies to lovers?"

charlotte shoved maddie's arm, "oh come on."

"okay, so are you like, in love?" maddie asked, eyes questioning straight into charlottes which were open like a deer in headlights.

no one's ever asked her that before, not even herself. she knew she felt something for gracie that was stronger than she has for anyone else, but she never defined it as anything, it was just there. maybe she was scared to define it, especially since 'love' has been a way more touchy subject for her now that what it used to be. she thought her dad loved her, that was a lie. she still loves him which is something she can't quite understand. and it wasn't like most people online have been loving her as much as they did either as of recently. she realizes every now and then that she only says 'i love you' to someone when they say it first or when she knows they need it and she can't figure out what else to say. but gracie hasn't said those three words to her yet either, so there was no telling when she'd say it next and that also meant charlotte had no clue when to say it. a part of her also didn't wanna screw things up by saying it.

but she knows that she would do absolutely anything for gracie. she likes her more than any other thing in the world right now and she's the only person who she can talk to that'll understand and really listen to what she's saying and will handle her emotions with care. she let her take full control of her last night, and she craved for more of it, how she made her feel, not just physically but emotionally. she already knew the deepest connection she has with anyone is with gracie, and every day and every night it gets stronger, but she wanted that confirmation that gracie had that same connection too. maybe then and only then would she figure out if she could say those three words.

"well?" maddie asked after charlottes long blank stare.

"i— maybe," charlotte mumbled, breaking their stare.

"hm. you do."

charlotte whipped her head back to maddie, "what?"

"don't argue with me, i can tell," maddie grinned, watching charlotte roll her eyes. "have you guys..."

charlotte let out a long breath, "yeah, last night was the first time."

"she good?"

"maddie!" charlotte laughed, only for the blonde to flail her arms in defence.

"what, c'mon, you'd ask me the same thing with my old boyfriends," maddie said, charlotte fully knowing that is true.

"she's so good," charlotte threw her head back with a breath, hearing maddie laugh. "best. i've. ever. had."

maddie chuckled, "so i'll be finally meeting her tomorrow, huh?"

"yeah, and i also just realized that my publicist, maya, is going to meet her tomorrow too when we get ready at my place," charlotte said.

"how will that go?"

charlotte shrugged her shoulders, "no idea honestly. but oh well, she's already probably pissed at me for it all blowing up anyways."

maddie cringed, "so tomorrow will either be a shit show for you or perfect?"

"either way i'll need to smoke after that, i'm texting olivia," charlotte said, pulling out her phone.

"olivia...?"

"rodrigo. my parents hate it when they find out i'm smoking, even though they've caught me like a million times, but to be safe olivia's my plug. and she gets that shit fast, i'm starting to think she literally has a greenery."

"oh shit, give me her number," maddie laughed.

_

the question maddie had asked her earlier that day racked at charlottes brown all evening as she paced around her apartment, rue and timber stared up at her curiously.

she thought back to when matthew said 'i love you' to her for the first time when they were dating, both of them partially naked in the backseat of his car and he sputtered it out, fully meaning it and waiting for her to reply. she remembered not responding, but just staring up at him with her lips parted, waiting to figure out if she wanted to say it or not, though at that moment she kind of already knew she loved him. instead, she never said anything. matthew just said 'that's okay, you don't need to say it if you don't wanna' and they continued with their night. he continued to say those three words numerous times as they continued dating, and it was only a month later when charlotte finally said it back. though when she said it it was more awkward than heartfelt. it came out as a question, saying it by abruptly walking into his bedroom, tilting her head and creasing her eyebrows, straying out a loud 'i love you?' she knew she meant it, but it still came out as a question purely because she wanted to make sure matthew would say it back and confirm that he also felt the same way, even though he's said it before. she never got better at saying it first throughout their relationship, only saying it back when he said it first or when high or drunk. sometimes it made it look like she never truly loved him, but she did, so so deeply.

she wondered if matthew ever doubted her words because of that, and that lead her to question if gracie would too.

suddenly, she scooped up rue, holding him out in front of herself at arms lengths and staring at him dead in the eyes, imagining that he was gracie. maybe if she practiced it, she would be able to say it better.

"i love you?" she questioned rue, then shook her head. "i love you," she said, more sternly and a little bit scarier. "i love you," she mumbled, sounding like she was forced to say it. "i. love you," she spaced out, now sounding illiterate.

"jesus christ," she groaned, dropping rue back onto the couch. she wondered is she's overthinking this, but then again when was she not overthinking.

she dropped her head into her hands, cussing into her palms as timber and rue meowed at her. she sighed shakily. at least tomorrow there was no way in hell gracie would spring those words onto her since there'd be hundreds of people around them, but after that what if she did? or she might not ever.

frustrated, charlotte shook her head and face-timed sadie, trying her best to get her mind off that goddamn question.

_

soph!
lil filler, but also important chapter that is of course unedited mwah
ALSO VAMPIRE??? IS???? SO???? FUCKING??? GOOD????? THE WAIT WAS SO LONG BUT AT LEAST WE GOT SUCH A GOOD SONG OUT OF IT
ALSO TAYLOR AND GRACIE PLAYING IMYIS TOGETHER WTF, IM SO JELOUS OF THE PPL WHO GOT TO WITNESS THAT OMG