𝐍𝐨𝐢𝐬𝐞

6. Drowned Feelings

Looking around me all I seen was white.. and even though I seen it in a school setting on a daily, ian gone lie and say ion feel at least a lil mo' protected when I'm at that school.

Things seemed to be getting alone decently, Em wasn't with me too much cause she was busy hosting ha' party, but ian complain.. I just sat here, trying my best to I guess.. blend.

and my brown and they white wasn't doing too much blending.

But as I kept looking around, I knew who I was looking fo!

I couldn't help but to smile as I looked down at myself in this yella' bathing suit. Jerome had dropped it off at my house that day after we hung out.

This boy went back to da' stoe and bought it fa' me.

He left me a note reading, "You always looked good in yellow." and that right thea.. made me melt.

I've been waiting on em since this party started. I'd feel a lot mo betta' when he show up.

Or at least I thought I would..

When I looked up, it felt like my heart had sunk all the way down to my stomach watching him come in hea with his curls braided back and his chocolate chest exposed.. those abs he had.. and the way his swim trunks hung low and loosely on his body..

Was I drooling!?

My awe didn't last long.. cause when I seen that light skin connected with his, this girl walking in, on his arm!

Lisa.. that's her. Lisa smiled and flipped that blonde shit over her shoulder, smiling as she stayed connected with him, everybody greeting them and cheering and smiling as if they we're the royal couple or some shit.

and da' bitch has the nerve to make eye contact with me! Then she smirked,

Oh bitch I'll show you some to smirk about.

I stood to my feet, not being able to take it anymore. I don't know why I came anyways.

In search of Emily, I frantically looked around so I could leave before he spotted me, before anybody else spotted me, because it definitely ain't hard to see my black ass.

Moving too fast as fucking always, I tripped over a leg, going to apologize before I realized who it was, and that only worsened my mood. "Damn girl, is it somebody chasing you?" Alex smirked and I rolled my eyes, trying to move around him but he only stood in front of me.

He's not even on the guest list.. I know because Emily had me help her send out the invitations.

"Look, getcha ass out my way for it be a problem, we ain't at school, and i ain't in no mood ta' be playing witchu!" I spoke my truth, really annoyed nie as he started to laugh.

"Watchu gone do.. girl?" He stepped up to me, and I groaned, pushing him out of my way, and he actually stumbled, causing him to slip and fall into the pool!

but of course he wouldn't fall alone, he grabbed my arm just as he was falling down, and I fell right in!

Oh Lord.

I damn near drowned.

I never said I knew how to swim, I just said I liked playing in the water... the shallow parts.

"Oh fuck." I heard, until two arms wrapped around me, pulling me up out of the water as I rapidly coughed, my eyes shut tight as I was placed on my feet, hands still around my waist.

"Troy!" I heard Emily as a towel was wrapped around me and I finally opened my eyes, after wiping them and it burning a bit, I seen everyone looking at us.

and when I realized the hands that were on me, I pushed him away, stepping back and almost stumbling again, with two new arms wrapping around me, and as I looked back at him, I groaned again, pushing him away.

"Troy—" I interrupted him. "Are you happy now!?" I asked Alex as he seemed as if he actually felt bad. I just know my hair had shrunk due to the water and I was looking a mess.

"Troy I am really—" I held my hand up. "Just forget it Alex." I kept the towel wrapped around me as everyone snickered and laughed, pointing at me and talking about my hair.

"It must be hard.. having dysfunctional hair like that and an disproportional body.." I heard, with more laughs following as my cheeks burned and I could feel the tears brimming in my eyes.

I didn't even have the strength to shoot anything back at her. I was completely embarrassed.

"Knock it off Lisa!" Alex reprimanded her and she scoffed as they began going back and forth.

Emily grabbed my hand, trying to get me as far away from the crowd as possible because she seen the hurt in my eyes and she knew the breakdown was coming. "Everybody go home! Party over!" She yelled, causing a bunch of groans and complaints as she unplugged the radio.

Before we could make it towards the stairs in Emily's parents home, I felt a hand pull at my arm and I knew who it was, and I shook him off but he only grabbed me again, causing me to turn around as the tears streamed down my cheeks.

"I'm gonna be right upstairs T.. I'll have some stuff ready for you to shower if you want and I saved some do your hair stuff from the last time you stayed over.." Emily said her piece and then made her way upstairs, trying her best to be of help.

But I just really wanted to go home.

"What happened?" He looked so concerned as he then tried to wipe my tears and I swatted his hands away.

"You wanna know what happened!?" I didn't mean to raise my voice and he stepped back a little.

I was being so hostile.

"I don't belong here.. that's what happened! Not even because of my skin! But because of who I am, and what I ain't got Jerome! I ain't like you or none of dem!" I felt more tears falling down my cheeks and he only stared, his face full of sorrow.

I sniffed, wiping at my cheeks. "Don't feel sorry for me." I shook my head, turning around to walk away again, but he grabbed my arm, making me face him.

"I don't care about what you got.." He took hold of my hand when I tried to walk away again.

"I love who you are." He looked into my eyes and my head shook.

all I could see was him with her, all the time, with her on his arm, with her being by his side, and that's what they all seen too..

"You love the idea of me.. the idea of being able to love who you want to love.. but your daddy's money is getting low, and ha' people's got it Jerome." I explained what we've both been ignoring and his head shook as he stepped to me but I backed away.

He sniffed. "Troy don't say things you know nothing about." He became serious.

I shrugged. "Everybody knows it Jerome!" He grabbed my hands, making me stop my yelling as he stared into my eyes, one of his hands coming to cup the side of my cheek, wiping the tears the kept falling.

He looked into my eyes. Just wishing he could tell me.. wishing he could say it.

Our mouths connected like a perfect match as his fingers became caught in my kinky wet curls, as he kissed me with hunger.

Passion.

Need.. and greed.

As he pulled back, he wiped away the rest of my tears.. looking into my eyes as he pressed our foreheads together.

Over the years I realized.. that'd become his way of saying...

I love you.

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Thoughts?

LaDonnaJ  <3