cosplay (jensoo)

no I deserve to be alone, LEAVE ME ALONE

"Can you please leave" Jennie said sternly

"I will be here to say goodbye to you before you leave" Jisoo said as she left Jennie's apartment

Jennie was needed to go back to her home country as her brother died some days ago in a car accident, Jennie and her brother were not necessarily close but they were there for each other when needed, after her brother died Jennie felt everyone she loves leaves her, she didn't want to get hurt so she pushed Jisoo away but she said she will stay is she believed her and waited for her the next day but she never showed up.

The next day she went to Jisoo's place and asked for her, her parents told her they don't care what she does or where she is, she might be hoeing around somewhere, Jennie knew that was a lie.

Jisoo's parents never liked her as their daughter, they always used to insult her and say slurs which aren't true but if the given situation Jennie was in, she would believe her then think of something positive.

It was the day Jennie was supposed to leave for New Zealand but still there was no sign of Jisoo anywhere, she thought Jisoo left her for good and boarded her flight...

She changed her phone number and deleted her social media accounts for a fresh start.

Meanwhile

Jisoo was laying in her hospital bed as she realized she woke up after 2days, she was supposed to meet Jennie she can today.

"Your girlfriend came in yesterday" her mother said as she entered the room.

"We told her you were hoeing around, which would be partially true given your condition right now" Jisoo's dad said as he looked at his daughter in disgust.

Jisoo was wrapped into bandages around her arm and left leg as her face looked like someone beat the shit out of her, if anyone would've looked at her, they would've believed she was raped.

Which she wasn't but her colleagues did abuse her which led to her accident.

"Why would you do that?" Jisoo asked with tears in her eyes

"Because you're nothing, you're nothing but a piece of shit born in our family" her mother said

Jisoo wanted to cry her heart out in the given moment but she couldn't all she could think of is how much of a disgusting person she is, she was full of shit, she didn't deserve Jennie

All these thoughts crept inside her mind as depression took hold of her in that given moment.

"y-you kn-know what you should leave me alone, FOREVER I DON'T WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH YOU, LEAVE" Jisoo yelled as her family evacuated her room.

She had the chance to call Jennie right there, but she didn't, she was way too much of a coward to even go talk to Jennie.

She didn't try to contact her until next day, it was too late then.

She felt blamed Jennie for everything either than realizing it was her at fault not her.

She wrote her letter in hope for her reply, sent her thousands of texts and called her but no response.

She decided to go away from everyone's life for good and start new, she left Lisa and her family behind as she felt like she didn't deserve them.

She left all of it because she was afraid

End of flashback

Funny how we let other people's word influence our life, how we don't value or keep ourselves before the Noise around us.

It was the same with Jisoo, she had all the confidence she needed and one wrong comment from her parent and colleagues and she felt like nothing.

As Jisoo joined college, she worked very hard to achieve her goals and also signed up for therapy where she found out she had undiagnosed adhd.

She understood the failure wasn't her fault, the incompetence wasn't her fault, she was born this way.

She took help from the necessary people for her condition and bounced back stronger.

Jisoo contacted Lisa after 2 years when she was somewhat okay with herself, Lisa helped her too.

It was not her fault she had adhd, it was not her fault her parents hated her for how much of a failure she was.

After graduating college, she never looked back, she had a drama in which she was casted as the lead.

She never contacted her parents, as she knew she deserves better.

She's never letting anyone drag her down ever. 

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"Some old wounds never truly heal, and bleed again at the slightest word." – George R. R. Martin