Play Pretend

Chapter 53

"Sorry..." I licked my lips. "Masyado akong madaming nasabi."

In my defense, he asked for my opinion, and I just replied. Napahaba nga lang, in an attempt to ease the tension between. Gusto kong subukang maging maayos kaming dalawa kahit na alam kong hindi ganoon kadali 'yon.

At least, I tried. This is for Cami.

I'm doing this for my daughter. I wanted her first meeting with her father to run smoothly. Gusto kong maging madali ang lahat para sa kanya at para mangyari 'yon, I had to talk to Xaiver first. Kailangan kong ipaintindi sa kanya na may anak kami at ipaalam ang lahat ng mga nangyari nitong nagdaang taon.

If he doesn't acknowledge her and refuses to meet our daughter, it will hurt, but that's also fine with me. Tatanggapin ko, pero magagalit ako sa kanya. I will never forgive him, and we will never come back.

"You're right. You've said too much, and I'm not really interested to hear them." Xaiver didn't bat an eye as he spit those words. "My lawyer has filled you in with the agenda for this meeting, I'm sure. We're not here to reminisce about the past. We're not here to catch up."

Kinagat ko ang labi ko. Tama naman siya. He's right, but why do I feel so offended?

I'm sorry, Cami. I don't think I can tell your father about you right now when he's acting like a jerk.

I wanted a fresh start with him, no matter how rotten our relationship ended. I didn't want to have another bad taste of him in my mouth. Gusto kong makisama hanggang sa makakaya ko, but we were not on the same page. If he would not exert the same effort, walang mangyayari sa pakikisama ko.

"Kung gano'n, pabalikin mo na si Atty. De Alban. Pag-usapan na natin ang dapat pag-usapan at huwag na tayong mag-aksaya ng oras," I said, channeling the same attitude he just showed me.

Natigilan siya sandali. His eyes dropped on my empty plate for a second before looking straight at me again. Umayos siya ng upo.

"Let's eat first. It's lunch." Pinulot ni Xaiver ang serving spoon para maglagay ulit siguro ng pagkain sa plato niya.

I looked at the food served on the table again. I guess it wasn't a coincidence. Alam ni Xaiver na ako ang makakasama sa meeting. Ayaw kong mag-assume, pero sa tingin ko ay siya ang nagpa-order no'n para sa akin. And for some reason, hindi na ako natuwang makita ang mga paboritong pagkain ko roon. Nawalan ako ng ganang kumain.

"No thanks. Nandito lang din talaga ako para sa meeting kasama si Atty. De Alban," sabi ko na lang. "May mga importanteng gagawin din ako pagkatapos."

Ibinaba niya ang serving spoon. "And what are those?"

"Bibili ng groceries at iba pang gamit sa bahay."

"Saan?"

Bahagyang napakunot ang noo ko. I thought he didn't want us talking about unnecessary things kaya bakit siya nagtatanong sa mga gagawin ko?

I sat straight and faced him with my chin up. "Puwede bang pag-usapan na natin ang tungkol kay Papa?" tanong ko. Ayaw ko na ring magpaligoy-ligoy. "Tawagin na natin si Atty. De Alban para masimulan natin."

Bumuntonghininga siya. "She's not needed in our meeting for now," he simply said as he sipped on his wine.

"Paanong hindi? She's a lawyer." Muli na naman akong nalito. "At kung tungkol talaga ito kay Papa, siya dapat ang kausap ko. Siya dapat ang magpapaliwanag, 'di ba?"

"If that's a genuine question, then no is the answer. No one knows this case better than I do." Ibinaba ni Xaiver ang wine glass sa lamesa. I caught his hand trembling slightly. "At gusto ko, ako ang mismong magsasabi sa 'yo bilang respeto."