Play Pretend

Chapter 32

#OLAPlayPretend

Chapter 32
Broke

Like I was struck by lightning, the realization I had sent intense shock waves all throughout my body. Hindi ako sigurado kung papaano ko tatanggapin ang katotohanan na 'yon. Mas lalo akong natakot sa kabila ng sakit.

Falling in love should be a happy feeling, but I felt every emotion except happiness and any word synonymous to it. Thinking about the consequences of falling for a man like him made me want to pull myself up right away so I wouldn't drown. It was very scary. Alam kong kayang-kaya niya akong saktan at bitiwan nang hindi kumukurap.

However, instead of turning away, I didn't want to run away from the truth. I stayed and stood behind them. Walang nakapansin sa akin. Kahit si Macy na nakaharap ay hindi ako nakita. She was focused on Xaiver. Parang walang ibang tao sa paligid niya at tanging siya lamang nakikita.

"Why do you have to get married? Bakit kailangang si Chantal? Why does it have to be another woman? Why can't it be me?" patuloy ni Macy habang nakakapit pa rin kay Xaiver. "Why didn't you wait for me? Pauwi na 'ko, e... Sinabi ko sa 'yo na uuwi na 'ko, pero ano'ng binalik mo sa akin? Na kakasal ka na? Na wala na pala akong babalikan?"

"Macy, please, you're drunk—"

"No, Xaiver! We have to talk! I can't fucking keep this to myself anymore... I... Hindi ko na kaya!" Macy bawled her eyes out. Nakakapit siya sa mga braso ni Xaiver bilang suporta.

I bit my lip and balled my fists. I knew I should walk away and let them talk privately, but as Xaiver's wife, I believed I had the right to stay and hear whatever she had to say to my husband.

"Kung hindi ba ako umalis... ako ba ang pipiliin mo?" Macy asked, filled with remorse. "Dapat ba hindi na lang ako umalis? Dapat ba nanatili ako sa tabi mo?"

"You already know my answer to that," seryosong sabi ni Xaiver.

My eyes narrowed at that. Ano'ng ibig niyang sabihin? Matagal niya na bang alam ang nararamdaman ni Macy?

"Oh... Right..." Tumango-tango si Macy at sinubukang tumayo nang maayos upang hindi umasa sa suporta galing kay Xaiver. "You rejected me... It's fucking clear to me why, pero bakit hindi mo man lang sinubukan?"

He rejected her? Kailan? Bago siya umalis? How many years has it been since she left again?

Kahit naguguluhan at madami pang hindi malinaw, I felt somehow better to know that he rejected her.

"I will still say the same thing," simpleng sagot ni Xaiver. "Alam mo kung bakit. I already told you why before you left. Ang sabi mo naiintindihan mo, so why are we going through this conversation again?"

"That's because it felt so unfair!" sigaw ni Macy. Kita ko ang pagbuhos ng panibagong luha sa kanyang pisngi. "Ako 'yung nauna, e! You could've given me a chance, too! Pero dahil ex ako ng kuya mo, I couldn't enjoy the same privilege she had."

"Macy—"

"Kung alam ko lang na iiwan ako ni Art, sana hindi na siya ang pinili ko! Sana hindi na siya ang minahal ko!"

Macy's voice echoed through the night. Sa sobrang tahimik, dinig na dinig ang kanyang boses. Even those who stayed in the other casitas might have probably heard her.

Nakaramdam ako ng pagkirot sa aking puso. Even if I didn't have the chance to meet Art, nasaktan ako para sa kanya. I wondered how painful it was for him to hear his girlfriend regretting falling in love with him. Kung ako 'yon, hindi ko kakayanin.

"Sa tingin mo ba ginusto ni Kuya na iwan ka? You think he wanted to die and leave this world at such a young age?" mahinang tanong ni Xaiver na halos hindi ko na marinig.