Coco and Fibsh Canon Wedding

WEDDING (not clickbait)

"My name is Yumi," says Yumi, "and I have the privilege of performing this ceremony today. On behalf of Coco and Fish, welcome and thank you for being here."

Fish doesn't understand a single word coming out of Yumi's mouth but they straighten up and listen close anyways.

"They are thrilled that you are here today to share in their joy during this wonderful moment in their lives," says Yumi.

Fish is currently running on a Caramel Ribbon Crunch frappe from Starbucks and nothing more.

"By your presence, you celebrate with them the love they have discovered in each other and you support their decision to commit themselves to one another for the rest of their lives," says Yumi. "The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved, loved for ourselves. If there is anything better than being loved, it is loving."

There are a lot of large words being used, and it is a little bit scary to Fish. Fish has not taken an English class since three years ago. They only hope Coco can understand enough of what is going on at the present moment.

"This afternoon we are here to celebrate love," says Yumi. "We come together to witness and proclaim the joining together of these two people in marriage. This is the union of two individuals in heart, body, mind, and spirit, Therefore, marriage is not to be entered into lightly, but reverently, honestly, and deliberately. And it is into this union that Coco and Fish come now to be joined."

Yumi turns to Fish. The sudden attention makes Fish drop the large Hershey bar in their hands.

"Fish you have chosen Coco to be your life partner," says Yumi. "Will you love and respect her? Will you be honest with her always? Will you stand by her through what ever may come?"

"HELL YEAH BABEY," says Fish.

"And do you both promise to make the necessary adjustments in your personal lives in order that you may live in a harmonious relationship together?" says Yumi.

"ONE HUNNET," says Fish. I am so good at weddings, they think.

"Coco and Fish, now we come to your vows," says Yumi. "May I remind you that saying your vows are one thing but nothing is more challenging than living them day-by-day. What you promise today must be renewed tomorrow and each day that stretches out before you. Will you now please turn and face each other and hold hands, looking at each other."

"Okay," says Fish. They grab Coco's hands obediently because they are clearly a great marriage candidate who can follow instructions.

"Now Fish, please repeat after me: In the presence of our family and friends, I Fish choose you Coco to be my wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, in joy and in sorrow, to love and to cherish, and to be faithful to you alone. This is my solemn vow," says Yumi.

"In the presence of our family and friends and the eggboy in the back," says Fish, "I Fish choose you Coco, my shawty boo bear snookums pookie wookie, to be my wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, in joy and in sorrow, to love and to cherish, and to be faithful to you alone. This is my solemn vow ‼️🤯🔥🥰😍"

Yumi is visibly concerned.

"STOP THAT WAS SO GOOD," protests Fish.

"May I have the rings please," Yumi continues anyways. They then step away from the lectern and pick up the pillow carrying the rings, since this is low budget and we could not afford to hire a real ring bearer. They distribute the rings to Fish and Coco.