A Bad Boy in my life

Thirty two

Little do you know
How I'm breakin' while you fall asleep
Little do you know
I'm still haunted by the memories
Little do you know
I'm tryin' to pick myself up piece by piece
Little do you know
I need a little more time

Little Do You Know — Alex & Sierra

POV: MARGO

I had never been the type of girl who fantasized about the moment of losing her virginity, eagerly awaiting the perfect guy to share that experience with. It wasn't something I yearned for above all else.

I had always heard that it's good to let your partner know it's your first time when it happens. However, in that moment, I couldn't see any benefit in telling Maxon that I was inexperienced, lacking the skills, and fundamentally different from the girls he usually sleeps with in many aspects.

And why did I decide to tell him now? I don't know either.

Actually, I thought he already knew or at least suspected it when he showed me that video. But it seems like he didn't know. I wonder if things would have been different if he had known.

Regardless, I was infuriated by the way he acted with such indifference to what he had done to me. I felt the need to make him acknowledge me somehow.

I have no idea what was going through his mind for him to react with surprise when I told him he took my virginity, even hinting that he cared.

On top of everything, I have no idea how to unjam a backpack zipper.

I despise the end of trips and the melancholy that accompanies it. But what I dislike even more is the process of packing my bags to leave.

It's not because I'm sad about leaving. Actually, I can't wait to return to Toronto and put an end to this trip, as I'm aware that my problems will only begin then. It's just that I lack the patience and energy to pack everything properly. So, I end up stuffing everything haphazardly into my backpack, and now it won't close no matter how hard I try.

"Do you need help?" Samantha asks, observing my struggle with the zipper from the bed.

"I think... nah..." I strain to close it, but the zipper breaks, and I release a resigned sigh of defeat. "The universe hates me," I mutter.

She chuckles softly.

"The universe doesn't hate you, Margo."

"Seriously, I can't think of anyone more unfortunate than me right now," I shake my head, gazing fixedly at a point in space.

She regards me with pity, setting down the last piece of clothing she was about to pack, and walks over to me.

"I can. Right now, there's a mother losing a child, a child going hungry, people trapped in the midst of a civil war... There are countless things happening in the world. I know it's hard to think positively when you're going through a tough time, but remembering that there are others enduring worse situations can help you realize that you're capable of getting through this. At least, that's what has helped me."

Until now, I hadn't stopped to consider it from that perspective, and suddenly, it feels as though Samantha has doused me with a bucket of cold water.

"Thank you... That's really insightful," I say, filled with gratitude.

She responds with a warm smile, as if to say, "You're welcome."

"But I genuinely don't know what to do with this," I gesture toward the broken backpack. "It must be almost time for us to go."