Clever Girl

Chapter 45: the nearest source of calm

"Graduation is still a couple of months away. And we've also got that fundraiser, and prom. Oh and... I could never forget about you."

"Good, it's settled then.  I'm making you dinner tonight."

When we hang up, I realize my mind isn't as hazy as it was before. Maybe Will really is my source of calm. Then again, is it right to depend on a person in such a self-serving way? To be close to them only because they make you feel good? Is that friendship? Or co-dependency? There are certainly more qualities I like about Will, like how he speaks in a way to reassure everyone around him they matter, or how he takes such good care of his grandmother. What makes a friend, anyway? I guess logically the main reason friends exist is to make you feel good about yourself, right? What's wrong with you, Veronica? Stop acting like you're from another planet. Some of these concepts aren't that strange. Stop overanalyzing. 

After finally finding my locker, getting out my books for the first half of the day, and heading to Biology, I'm ready to sit in my corner and disappear into the mundane background of whatever lesson we will have. Though before I walk into the classroom, Grizz approaches me, "Hi Veronica!"

Evie has her arm linked with his, and a look of distain appears on her face. I smile at Grizz, "Hi."

"Have you seen Will?"

"Not yet. I was actually just on the phone with him."

"What, Jay wasn't enough for you? Now you gotta have Will too?" Evie snaps, but her expression changes to shame after Grizz gives her somewhat of a stern glance. He motions for her to say something, his eyes moving from her to me. When she speaks again it's with a softer voice, "Sorry, force of habit. We're uh... we're having a party this Saturday, and Grizz - I mean we - are inviting you."

"Is that a joke? I swear if this is some prank you and Stella are playing on me-"

"I wish it were. Apparently I'm too selfish and narrow-minded, so my parents are pushing me to interact with people I wouldn't normally be around. Expand my viewpoint, or whatever. Like that'll help. Anyway, are you in or not?"

Grizz appears apologetic but eager for a positive response. I have shifts at the car dealership this weekend, and a lot of other work to do. "I'll try to make it. Thanks for the invite."

"Awesome! If you talk to Will again let him know. See you around, Veronica," Grizz says, then him and Evie head into the classroom and take their seats. 

***

One, observe that the reflection is centered about y = 2, as the values go from y = 1 to y = 3. The cosine curve is 'upside-down', therefore the equation must be y = −(cos x) + 2 = 2 − cos x. Two, the reflection of y = f(x) in the x-axis (y = 0) is y = −f(x). When the line of reflection is translated, the whole reflection is translated. Since y = 0 is transformed...

The words and numbers suddenly jumble up, becoming obscure and annoying. This is now the fourth time it's happened. I keep trying to solve equations, but my brain short-circuits each time. Maybe I can find a free spa somewhere that can help me relax and let my mind rest, if only for an hour. 

My phone's alarm goes off, reminding me of the dinner later tonight. Should I dress up? No, don't be stupid. It's not a date. You don't like him like that. He doesn't like you like that. Stop thinking about it. As I start getting ready, I keep replaying this thought until my nerves settle down. At most I'll stay for an hour. There are, as usual, a million things I need to do and not enough time to do them. If time travel were real, I'd hitch a ride on a time machine every single day - play the same day over and over, each time completing a different task. 

An hour later, as I'm staring at myself in the bathroom mirror and trying to hide the massive dark circles under my eyes, Matty's panicked voice rushes through the silence, "Vee, I don't know what's wrong with dad. You have to come downstairs!"

The under-eye concealer drops from my hand, hits the ground and splatters. "It's okay, it's going to be okay. I'm sure he's fine," I say, masking my fear with forced calmness. I run after Matty and into the living room, where the scene before me materializes into an unabashed terror. 

A strange, uneven gurgling sound is coming from my dad's mouth. His arms, while we usually make sure are on the resting position in his chair, are now draped over heavily - faint bruises visible on his forearms. With tears in my eyes and my throat aching, I pick up the phone and call 911, my tone now drenched in misery and hopelessness. After hanging up, I rush to my dad and perform a couple of maneuvers for those in a wheelchair, slight alternations to the standard CPR practice.  I try leaning him forward and slapping his back five times, then five abdominal thrusts, then repeating. I try wrapping my arms around his ribcage from behind, then pulling his body in towards me and up five times. But the gurgling sound doesn't stop.

"Where's mom?" I ask, though I'm not sure if Matty's still in the room. 

"I think she's sleeping."

 "Can you go see if she's awake? If she's up, stay with her and make sure she's okay."

"What about dad? What's gonna happen?" Matty asks through his own tears. 

I walk up to him and pull him into a hug, "He'll be okay. He's just having some trouble right now, but when the ambulance gets here everything will be fine." I don't believe a single word of what I'm telling him, but what else can I say? I move back from the hug and look into his eyes, "Matty, please go upstairs and stay with mom. If anything happens, I promise I'll let you know."