Remember Me (Sequel To Tragic Endings)

29. I'm Sorry

After hanging up with Chilli, I feel weird.

Like, what the hell am I even doing anymore??

The next morning, I wake up and force myself into the bathroom where I brush my teeth and take a shower, thinking on exactly what I'm going to do today. I guess I best book that flight to LA. Maybe Chilli can help fill up more of the blanks in my memory, who knows, and then maybe I could like... decide on what to do about me and Marshall.

God, even thinking his name hurts...

So I force myself to push all of the thoughts of my husband aside and then I'm quickly getting dressed, then making my way back into the hotel room. I wake Sienna up and make her bathe and brush her teeth as well, then proceed to detangle and stable her long curly hair.

"Mommy, are you still sad?" My daughter asks me, and I swear, it's like the roles have reversed, and right now she is the parent, and I'm the child, because my 7 year old keeps comforting me like she's the momma, and I honestly feel so guilty about this. Like, what am I even doing, it shouldn't be like this at all.

"No, I'm not sad, sweetie, and don't even worry yourself with anything anyways," I then force myself to say, smiling sweetly at my child whom I barely even remember but still somehow love with all my heart.

"But mommy. I miss dad," Sienna then says, huge doe eyes staring at me through the mirror.

"I know, baby. I miss him too," I sigh.

"So, why won't we come back home to him then?" Sienna naively asks me.

"Because we just can't honey."

"But why not??"

Because your daddy fucking had somebody killed and that scares me!! I think to myself, but obviously don't say it out loud.

Sienna continues to look at me questioningly in the mirror.

I sigh and finish twisting the last portion of her hair that I've been working on.

"It's just how it is right now, sweetheart. I'm so sorry," I whisper.

Sienna then pouts, and then the next thing I know, my child is giving me this like... defiant look?

"Well, I had called daddy anyways from your phone, mommy. I told him where we were and to come get us!" Sienna then tells me, crossing her small arms over her chest.

Causing a strange mix of emotions to run through my whole body.

I quickly grab my child by her shoulders and spin her around to face me.

"You did WHAT, Sienna?! When, how?!" I start to frantically ask her.

"I took your phone while you was in the shower, mommy," she then tells me defiantly, cooking her head to the side just slightly and squinting her eyes. Very much so reminding me of her father in this moment.

But only for like a few seconds though.

Because once Sienna notes the look on my face, she suddenly looks very remorseful and childlike, she looks her age again.

"I mean... I'm sorry, mom, I just..." her voice trails off, and her eyes start filling with tears.

"It's okay, honey," I whisper, even though on the inside, everything is screaming at me that it's absolutely NOT okay.

I don't want to see Marshall at all, I can't see him!!

But jusy as faith would have it, there's a knock on the door, and I feel my whole body stiffen up, just as my daughter's eyes light up.