「secret empire」ー 折原 臨也

Ch. 5: Artists craft illusions of reality

How did he find out this quickly?

What exactly does he know?

Yuzuki figured, it would be unwise to allow a single word slip past her lips. She rather had them lie deep inside of her like stones tied to her ankles as she felt like drowning already.

For how long had he known?

For how long had he been keeping it a secret from her?

For how long had he enjoyed playing with her, using her?

Along with the silence came the tension of her every muscles. She knew bursting out these thoughts would be a great relief for her, but she also knew to be cautious. One wrong word, a mere sound even, could break her neck.

Though the time of the end is moreover commonly uncertain, while one is indeed aware of the time of the start, it was all different in this case.

Yuzuki had long lost track of time. She can not remember her very own start and she does not know when exactly she made the mistake to open the purple curtains to let the raven inside.

However, the wrong action could make everything shatter and end. This fact, she couldn't be more aware of.

Had she really been this foolish to actually trust him? To think he was different from what he pretended to be?

Orihara Izaya's mask used to be one of honesty and meaning to the seemingly naive girl. She had never bothered to grow annoyed at his bold way or his smug attitude; now she realized she would have been better off doing so.

She figured he was complex, but she found herself tangled in too many layers the informant hid his true self behind. Either that, or she was too wrapped up in something non-existent, which made her appear blind to the obvious facts.

To not trust Izaya was a very simple rule almost anyone knew to follow.

Yet Yuzuki behaved like a child, whose mother told her to not play with the fire; curiosity killed the cat.

"Something the matter?" His voice appeared to be dull as it invaded and interrupted her inner rambles, causing her to wince a little. The usual mocking tone lingering in his voice did not go unnoticed. It has always been there, of course, but Yuzuki had learned to ignore it, to no longer acknowledge it, to not search for a deeper meaning, convinced there was none.

This time, however, his amused voice left her hurt and vulnerable, more than ever. She had a feeling it would come to this at some point, but she shoved the thought aside each time and now it hit her a little too hard.

He had been playing a game with his own rules, one only he could win.

Lying to Orihara Izaya was no use.

Even though everything she thought she knew about this man had turned out to be wrong, she couldn't deny this fact.

"It's nothing."

The lie left her mouth with ease nevertheless; and she almost took nearly zero notice of how obvious her voice proved differently.

While her words were not only wrong, they also sounded like she was seeking distance. The exact opposite was the case, though.

Admitting her knowledge would ultimately lead to chaos. Instead the true intention of her lies were to keep him close, to keep clinging to him, to not fall and hit rock bottom. Basically, she firmly held the hand of the one, who was planning to guide her to the cliff and shove her away from the very start.

When Izaya tilted his head and looked at her, a wave of disgust rushed through her. She hated the way his smirk disappeared without fully being gone. Its presence lingered there still. It was still there, invisible, but existent nevertheless. His whole current facade was nothing but fake. It had been all along.