Back To You

29

L E X I
G O N Z A L E S

My parents have been acting different this whole week.

There's a difference between overprotective and overbearing.

In the last two weeks my parents went from being overprotective to being overbearing. They went from coming home from work late at night and barely being at home, to cutting their working hours and being at home constantly. Like I love them and all but being around them constantly gives me a migraine.

Some may think that this is nice as they just want to spend more time with me, but, anytime I wear a long sleeve or a hoodie they act really weird around me because they think I've relapsed and trying to hide it. Also anytime I'm in the kitchen around sharp objects they get very agitated. That's just what I need when I'm trying to stay clean. It's like they've lost trust in me.

They went from not being there. To being constantly there. Checking up on me constantly has gotten me stressed out. It was nice at the start as they were just looking out for me, but two weeks later I'm just uncomfortable. Last night I could hear them talking about me in the kitchen, I was sat at the top of the stairs hearing their conversation.

They aren't very good whisperers.

School this week also hasn't been fun, it's getting closer to exams and graduation. It's getting closer to the time where I can pack my bag and leave this place and move around the world. It's only the first week back after Christmas break and I'm already done. But it's Saturday today so I'm done with the week but I still need to do some revisions and studying.

So apparently we also now do sit down family meals. Which is nice and all but they don't really talk about anything but work. I got used to eating dinner by myself since my parents get home from work late and have already eaten and also my brothers have obviously moved out. As the youngest child you get used to eating alone.

I liked eating alone, I like my own company. I'm alone, but I'm not lonely. Loki usually lies beside me and I talk to him and I like to think he understands what I say. But I don't think he does.

I do like being around other people and being with my friends but sometimes being alone with my own company is all I need. I'm happy to spend time with my family but it does get a little too much when we go out as a family as we have no privacy because of paparazzi, journalists and reporters that are always invading our privacy or creating fake scandals and headlines.

"Lexi?"

The voice makes me jolt and I accidentally scrape my fork across my plate, the horrible noise sends a shiver down my spine. "Yeah?" I look at both my parents who have empty plates and I still have a full one. I'm not very hungry. I haven't been all week.

"Are you not hungry?" Mom asks me.

"Um, no, sorry" I let go on my fork and run my hands down my leggings as they are very clammy and disgusting.

"Are you feeling alright? Are you getting enough sleep?" She questions me in a concerned tone and looks at me in a weird way.

"Yep" I answer dishonestly, I'm getting zero sleep at the moment. There is just so much on my mind and it's not shutting up, an then when I do fall asleep I end up having nightmares which I never get. I keep waking up sweating and shivering sometimes which then keeps me up for the rest of the night.