UNLESS [Onceler X Reader]

~~Thneed~~

Onceler: That still doesn't explain THEM being here!

Y/N: Okay, well listen, well we were... in bed together... I asked you if they could come in, and you gave me your full consent

Onceler: Yeah, well I was drunk and most likely asleep... So it doesn't count

Y/N: I guess that's kinda true. You did look VERY asleep

Onceler: Exactly! And sleeping is the bodies way of telling other people to go away

Y/N: Well how was I supposed to know? You're the one who pulled me in-

Onceler: Can we just stop talking about... THAT, and talk about anything else?

He says while looking away, his face going pink again

Y/N: But, it's just... You looked really sleepy and I didn't want to disturb you that much. Besides, they were cold outside, and they just wanted to sleep in here

Onceler, who was still looking to you in annoyance, raised an eyebrow

You smiled innocently at him

Y/N: No harm done

Onceler: No harm done?

He slowly slides off his bed, clearly not taking well to the situation

Onceler: Seriously! No harm done!?

He pinches his nose again and let's out an exasperated sigh

Onceler: Okay...

Onceler walks over to his sink, and gasps in fright as he sees one of the fish bathing in a mug

His expression changes to one of disgust

Onceler: Okay, I put my lips on the-

He shakes his head in defeat

Onceler: Well, I used to anyway

He then walks another direction, before he looks up to one of the birds sitting in a bowl

The bird seemed to be putting a lot of strain into something

Until the strain was evident when an egg appeared inside the bowl

Onceler looks up at this scene and grimaced at the sight

Onceler: Ew! Did you just-?

At that moment, most of the animals were awake, and they cheered on behalf of the egg that was laid

You were happy for the bird to. But Onceler visibly showed his disgust

Onceler: In my BOWL!?

Onceler, wide eyed, collapsed to his knees on the floor

You had already gotten out of his bed when you spotted a peculiar item near his sink

It was blue, and had bristles on it

You couldn't recall it's exact use, but you had somewhat an idea, and that idea was...

Brush

So you took it and started brushing your hair with it. It wasn't that helpful, but you used it nonetheless

You walked up to Onceler whilst brushing your hair. You chuckle at him a little

Y/N: You have all this hair, but it doesn't even look like you used this thing once

Onceler looks up at you and his "brush" that you had in your hands. He visibly squirms in disgust as he takes his brush back

As you walk to another side of his tent, he sighs in frustration