Star-Crossed | Boy x Boy

𝑵𝒆𝒌𝒂𝒓𝒆

*Kind of an extra long chapter*

I bent over the grass, puking for what felt like the hundreth time. Aster had been taking care of me all day, through the nausea, headaches, and vomiting that he said were normal on your first full moon. Speaking of the full moon, it was high above our heads as we made our way further and further from the house and the other werewolves. I could barely smell them anymore. 

Aster looked over his shoulder at me. He was restless, too. He wanted to shift as much as I did, but he was refraining from doing so in order to help me. I fell to my knees a couple feet away from in on a carpet of damp moss. I couldn't go any further, not with the Wolf clawing at my insides like a rabid animal. My bones felt ready to snap and shove their way up out of my skin. It was almost unbearable.

Aster knelt down next to me. He held my face in my hands and wiped the tears away with his thumbs. "I know you're strong, Red. You've made it further than most. Are you ready to shift? Because if you're not, then-"

"I don't have a choice, asshole," I hissed through teeth grit in pain. I didn't mean to sound so bitter, but I was in a lot of agony and just wanted to get it over with. Wolf needed to run, to kill, to be alive. It'd been trapped inside me for almost a month now, and they weren't happy about that. They wanted to lead my body's decisions. 

Aster nodded. "Okay. It's going to hurt, more than it already does."

"Great pep talk, thanks. I'll remember that when I'm older."

Aster shook his head. "Alright. All fours, dig your fingers and knees into the dirt. You have to connect to mother nature. Once you shift, your body will become a part of her cycle, a part that humans don't have access to."

I did as I was told, sweat dripping down my neck as I tried not to pass out. I clenched my fingers, sinking them deep into the soil beneath me. I felt wet mud beneath the spongy moss. My whole body trembled with anticipation as I closed my eyes, trying to steady my uneven panting. Was it always going to be like this?

"You're doing fine. Picture yourself as a wolf. Shaggy fur, a long muzzle, big ears, a poofy tail, etcetera. Got that?"

I nodded, too overwhelmed to speak. I bowed my head over my quaking arms and screwed my eyes shut tightly. At first I imagined Aster in his wolf form. Big, strong, dark. His thick brown coat, his gleaming yellow eyes, his ears raised alertly. His huge tail sweeping over the dead leaves and fallen twigs. Then I pictured a different wolf, the one that I wanted to be. Dark ginger fur, plain green eyes. Short, stout ears and a bushy tail. A slender but muscular build, and abnormally long legs. My eyes shot open and I gasped as I felt something crack in my arms. It felt like my bones had just been broken. I looked up Aster, tears flooding my vision as I tried to explain the pain to him. All that came out was incoherent blubbering.

Aster nodded. "Your body has to rearrange itself entirely in order to complete the shift. Once its completed it once, you won't have to go through this pain again. It gets easier every time you do it. I promise."

I nodded meekly, closing my eyes once more. Wolf growled in my stomach, furiously attacking my entire body. Hot, flashing lights framed the corners of my vision as I fell to the side, twitching violently. My bones were cracking and snapping loudly as they bent in ways they shouldn't. I felt my chest grow broader, and I felt my face start to elongate. I didn't want this. I didn't want this at all. I let myself cry freely, my tears soaking the fur covering my body. Dark ginger fur like I had imagined. Soon my legs and arms were almost identical, and covered in a layer of thin orange fur. I opened my eyes. The bone-shattering pain of what had just happened was still there, but nothing else was changing. I tried to stand up, but almost instantly slumped back down to the soft earthy ground. I buried my nose in it, drinking in the fresh scents of the night air. That was enough to wake up Wolf.