PROMISE - S. CLEARWATER

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐍: 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐑𝐄 𝐃𝐀𝐌𝐄

    "It's fine. I'll just make macaroni or something. And quadruple the normal portions."

    "You're an angel. I'll see you later."

    I cringe internally when she calls me an angel. A lot of things remind me of Seth in a nice way, but that just makes me sad. He would come to the beach with Claire and I. He loves Claire too, but how can you not? She's the sweetest little thing. Anyone with eyes and heart had to love her.

    "Let's get moving, Claire bear. Wanna go find some pretty rocks?"

"WOCKS!"

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    As Claire runs up and down the shore, I pick at the edge of the fraying blanket I found by the back door to sit on. She's been coming back every few minutes to give me another rock and then runs back out to the water to find more. They're mostly just your average rock, but once in a while she'll find a shell fragment or some fool's gold, at which point I'm tasked with cleaning and drying them off. It's a cute little game, and by the time she comes back for a tenth drop-off, we have growing piles of keepers and rocks to throw back to the ocean.

    "Shiny!" she exclaims as she drops another rock onto the blanket. It is shiny - another chunk of fool's gold. I smile and start to towel it off to put in the keeper's pile.

    "Very pretty, Claire."

"You have," she says, bending over to choose rocks out of the pretty pile for me to keep. I get two fool's gold chunks and the only whole shell she's found, which is generous considering how excited she was when she came back with it. "You have, Wiwow."

    "Why thank you. I would be honored to have these," I reply as I take them from her little hands and line them up on my thigh carefully. She smiles and runs back off to the water to get more bounty as Quil lopes down the beach to us.

    "She showed you her rock collecting skills?" he asks as he slows to a stop beside me. I smile up at him and nod, shading the muted sun with my hand. "She finds some real winners sometimes. I've got a massive bottle filled with them in my room."

"Well, when someone gives you a gift, it's rude to get rid of it."

    "Exactly. And I think it will be cute to do something with them when she's a bit older and gets into crafting. Like making a picture frame or bracelet or something. Or just a more structurally sound rock pile without the crappy bottle."

    I giggle and nod, "That would be very cute. I'm sure she'd appreciate it when you're both older as well."

    "We can put a picture of us in it! Or give jewelry to our kids..."

    I smile and nod, looking back out at Claire splashing in the water again. She's a sweetheart - I would be lucky to have a child as good as her someday. Maybe in my wedding, she can be the flower girl. My wedding to Seth. Who I'm still not allowed to talk to.

    "Quil?"

    He focuses back on me again. "Yeah?"

    "When am I going to get to see Seth again?"

    He sucks in a breath through his teeth, a slight whistle coming out as a result. Not a good start. Then he won't look at me anymore, staring out at Claire as she comes running back to us again. He doesn't answer, not even when Claire comes and goes with more rocks.

    "I won't like the answer, will I?"

"You'll hate it."

    I sigh and stare out at the ocean harder, trying to call to memory the times I came out here with Seth. Maybe if I think about them hard enough, they'll come true.

    "Bella's gonna pop any day now, we think. Whatever happens will happen soon."

    I nod and smile when Claire comes back a final time and flops down into my lap. She pushes her pile of good rocks around, finding a little piece of teal sea glass and holding it out to me.

    "You have," she says, poking my collarbone with it until I take it from her little hand. I smile and take it from her, thanking her with a soft kiss on the top of her head.

    "Should we throw the other ones back now? Go back up and get some dinner?"

"Yes!"

"I'll help. You go back up," Quil says, holding out a hand to help me up. I take it and dust myself off before looking at him again. He looks...sad. Like he feels pity for me. Out of all of the boys, he's the one I think understands me the most. But it won't bring Seth back.

    "Thanks."

    I walk up alone, with only my thoughts to fill the silent walk. The beach long behind me, Emily's place long before me, all I've got is myself and the wind. If Jacob hadn't made it his life's mission to resent Edward, if Seth didn't always do what was right, if Sam wasn't so uptight, if Bella hadn't convinced Edward they needed to have a vampire mutant baby...Seth would be here and I wouldn't be so lonely all the time. I wouldn't have to fight with myself to get to sleep or wince every time Sam and Emily show any kind of PDA at the house. If Victoria had never turned Bree and Bree had never found me, none of this would be any kind of issue. But she did, and Sam was uptight and Seth wouldn't stand for it, so I had to live without half my heart for as long as it took Bella to have this baby and the mini pack to convince Sam that it wasn't dangerous to the public.

    I take my time cooking the pasta once I make it back to the house. Emily wouldn't be home for almost another hour, so there was no rush. I wouldn't want her to come home to a cold dinner after everything she's done for me. Plus, with making enough for the whole pack, it was bound to take me until she was home to make enough macaroni for everyone.

    The pack all joke and laugh as they eat. I smile when they get my attention, but stare at my full bowl the rest of the time. I can feel Sam's gaze on me, but I refuse to meet his eyes. After this torture he's put on me, he deserves a little resistance. Emily doesn't even try to look over - we've already talked about my silent protest before.

    Embry comes running into the room, panting and barely wearing any clothes. I quickly avert my eyes, but I can't help looking back over at him when he bursts out, "Bella had the baby."