Draya Malfoy

39 - Nobbly Bobbly

"Gladly," Harry muttered, striding out of the room and elbowing his way past Ron.

"That was your last chance!" Ginny shouted after him as he hurried down the stairs. "You and I are officially over!"

*****

"Draya, darling."

Another soft knock at my bedroom door.

"Please," my mother's voice begged softly on the other side, "let me in darling."

Sighing, I pulled myself off my bed and walked slowly to the door and slowly opened it up. Without waiting, I turned and sloped back to my bed where I lay back down, curling myself up into a ball.

"Draya, I wish you'd leave this room. I'm getting worried."

I said nothing. Did she really need me to explain that I felt too terrified to wander the hallways of my own home, that it no longer felt like home to me.

I felt the lift of my mattress as Mother sat down. She began to soothingly stroke my back and it instantly brought tears to my eyes.

"The Dark Lord wishes you to return to Hogwarts in September."

I froze. Another place which is the last place I want to be. Would anywhere ever feel safe to me anymore?

"Why?" I murmured, my voice muffled as I pressed my face into my pillow, the only way I could stop myself from sobbing like a hysterical child.

"He- he believes in a proper education." Even my mother didn't sound like she could believe what she was saying. "It's now mandatory that every witch and wizard of school age attend."

Blood permitting, of course.

I remained mute. What could I say? You didn't argue with the Dark Lord.

"Severus will be headteacher," she continued, still stroking my back. "He'll make sure you're well looked after. He- he's a good man."

Is he though? I thought bleakly, recalling how he just sat there as Professor Burbage begged him to save her.

A wave of nausea passed over me, this thought alone evoking the horrific memory of that night.

How would I ever feel safe again? I couldn't remember what that even felt like.

"You'll be reunited with your friends," Mother tried again. "Pansy will have missed you so. And Blaise."

I squeezed my eyes tight shut, trying to stop the feeling of mounting sadness from overwhelming me.

Because I did not believe in the slightest my presence would be welcomed - even amongst my own Slytherin friends.

"It's an important year, of course," Mother continued. "Your final year. Oh how my little girl is all grown up-"

Her voice cracked on this last word, and her hand which has been stroking my back flew up to her mouth as she tried to stifle her own sob.

"Please don't make me go back," I whispered eventually, my voice small and child-like.

This just made my mother cry harder, and she curled up behind me and hugged me to her like a baby, both of us shrouded in our own grief and unhappiness - mother and daughter, weeping softly together.

******

Voldemort permitted only my mother to wave me off at the station. Father was still grounded. But it was probably for the best because all he ever did since returning home was drown his sorrows in drink.

Still, I can't blame him. If I was remotely interested in alcohol then I'd probably use it to escape this hell too.

I found myself an empty compartment, wanting to be alone for as long as I could draw it out for. In truth, I was too afraid to come across anyone in fear of being rejected. I had not missed the scathing looks I'd already received on the platform. I heard the whispers they shared amongst themselves: 'Watch your back, Malfoy's coming to kill you.'

I mean, technically I killed no one. Sure, a little attempt here and there, but no one was directly offed because of me.

My mind wandered to Harry, and I wondered where he was. I'd breathed a sigh of relief upon learning that he'd escaped Voldemort yet again, but there was no way he was just going to turn up in Hogwarts - a school now run by Death Eaters.

I'd noticed Ginny board the train. I wondered if she knew where he was. I also wondered, bitterly, if she and Harry had resumed their relationship now that I was well and truly out of the picture.

I felt so sick with jealousy that I didn't notice the door of the compartment sliding open until someone said, "Malfoy."

I looked up sharply, shocked to see Theo, Crabbe and Goyle piling in. Goyle, the last one in, slid the door shut and closed the blinds.

I felt a flicker of fear as they took the empty seats, suddenly making the compartment feel overcrowded.

Theo, sat opposite me, glared. "So, where is he?"

"Where is who?" I asked, looking between the three of them. They all looked so angry.

"Potter, that's who." Crabbe demanded. "Your boyfriend."

"He's not my boyfriend."

"Not what you were saying last year." Goyle shrugged.

"Yes, that was last year." I said slowly in case their thick minds couldn't keep up. "Since then I tried to kill his favourite teacher so he's gone off me a bit."

"Do we need to make you talk?" Theo said, twirling his wand in between his fingers. "Perhaps a little encouragement to help you remember?"

"Like I said - I do. Not. Know. Where. He. Is." I said more forcefully now, reaching into my pocket for my own wand. "I haven't seen him since the night Dumbledore died. And in case you did not know, I've just had the Dark Lord spending the summer at ours, so if he had any inkling that I knew of Potter's whereabouts, then he would have well and truly dealt with me by now. Or are you suggesting he is incapable of that?"

Theo blinked. "He spent the summer with you?"

"Yes!" I snapped. "Forgive us for not sending you a postcard but we were too busy having such a blast paddling in the sea and eating ice-creams!"

"I like a Mr Whippy," Goyle grunted. "'specially with a flake."

"Nah- I like a Nobbly Bobbly meself," Crabbe grunted back. "Can't beat 'em sprinkles."

"Will you two shut the fuck up?!" Theo snarled. "We're here to find out where Potter is - not to do a survey on Britain's favourite ice-cream."

"Well, as I said," I drawled lazily. "You're wasting your time. Potter and I finished months ago, and my loyalties remain with the Dark Lord."

Did I really believe this? No. But I had to do what I had to do to survive.

Theo, seeming satisfied with this, sat back.

"Well," he said, cracking his knuckles. "I suppose we ought to start strategizing about the year ahead."

I frowned at him. What was he talking about?

Slowly, he lifted the sleeve of his left arm, revealing his own Dark Mark. Crabbe and Goyle did the same. They'd all been marked.

My heart thudded uneasily in my chest.

"We need to make sure all the Mudbloods and Blood Traitors are dealt with." Theo continued, smirking at me. Crabbe and Goyle began to snicker sinisterly.

I didn't know what he meant, but I had a sinking feeling it really wasn't going to be pretty.

*****