RED | Bellamy Blake

Somebody That I Used to Know

"I'd say you're full of shit." I say and I notice, just for a second, Jaha look off to the left and nod ever so slightly. 

"There's no simple way to eliminate pain, and you know it." Raven finishes my thought, having not seen Jaha's little moment. 

His smile widens as he walks forward with a small blue chip in his hand. I eye it cautiously, but something in me wants to reach out and take it. To feel this so-called fake happiness just for a moment. 

"This can make it go away." He says, his eyes on me. "I know you're in pain, Hailey." He murmurs, making my jaw tick. 

"You don't know shit." I spit. 

"Oh, but I do." He says, his smile widening. "I know about the electrical burns that Raven inflicted and the nerve damage that causes stomach pains from time to time." He says, making my eyebrows furrow. "I also know about the scar on your thigh that you got when you were running from the grounders when Octavia went missing and how when you stretch your leg just right, a sharp pain comes." I scoff. 

"That's all superficial, Jaha." I say, my voice low. "I've survived worse." 

"I'm well aware of your capabilities." He says, stepping closer. "You lost you mother and your sister when you were too young and come to find out she's still alive, but she now hates you." 

"I can live with her hating me." I mutter, glancing away to find Raven watching me with furrowed brows. 

"Yes, but can you live with the fact that Elliot, your best friend, is gone and never coming back?" He says and my heartbeat thuds in my ears. 

"Keep his name out of your mouth, you creatin." I hiss, anger evident in my voice. 

"What about Finn?" He asks, silent only for a moment. "I know that goodbye you shared wasn't nearly as long as you had hoped. And those soldiers you killed in battle." He sighs, staring at me. "I can imagine how hard it is to cope with all of that bearing on your shoulders." 

"It's what has made me, me." I say, stepping closer to him only to shove him farther away. "So don't, even for a second, think that I'd want to take your creepy, fake-happiness, horse shit pill." I mutter before grabbing Raven's hand and dragging her away with me. 

"You'll be back!" Jaha yells out. "And when you do, I'll still be here!" He yells as we head straight towards the cells. 

"Come on, Rae." I say, but she pulls her hand out of my grip. 

"I'm gonna head back to my workshop, okay?" She says and I nod before continuing to walk. 

I almost slip when Octavia barrels into me with Bellamy on her heels. "Come on." She mutters, grabbing my hand and pulls me towards a room. 

"I'm serious. Look at yourself." Bellamy shakes his head as the door opens. "It is time to stop playing Grounder before you get yourself hurt." He says, making me roll my eyes. 

"I'm not playing anything." She sighs, turning around and blocking the view of the room. "This is who I am." She looks at me with the silent 'who we are' in her gaze. "You're my brother, I shouldn't have to tell you that." She sighs before stepping to the side to reveal Clarke sitting down at the table in front of us. 

"Now I'm done." She says, closing and locking the door behind us. 

"Clarke?" I ask, a smile lifting to my lips before running into her arms. 

Her arms encircle my middle, making me breathe in the warm charcoal smell of her hair and a hint of soap of her skin. "I missed you." She mutters into my hair, making me squeeze her tighter. 

I pull back to look at her and I smile impossibly wider. "I like the hair." I say, eyeing her loose dreads. 

"I knew you would." She says, her head leaning almost imperceptibly closer to mine. 

Instead of meeting our lips like how I really wanted to do to get Bellamy off my mind, I lean my forehead on hers. "Later." I whisper as Bellamy clears his throat. 

I lean back and cross my arms before sitting down at the table with Clarke next to me. 

"Go easy on Octavia. I had to beg her to get me into camp." She says, trying to crack a small smile like old times. 

"What are you doing here, Clarke?" Bellamy asks, rolling his eyes. 

"To talk." She stands, walking over to him. 

Bellamy scoffs, making me sigh in frustration, but I keep quiet. "Oh, you've decided that. The mighty Wanheda." He glances at me and I think he finally realises that I've been pretending and lying this whole time. "Who chose the Grounders over her own people, who turned her back on us when we came to rescue you. Now you want to talk." He grits out as I stand, making my way to Clarke's side. 

As she goes to speak, I realise that I've made up my mind. I can't stay in Arkadia any longer. I clench my jaw as I hear her say, "Justice has been served for the attack on Mt. Weather. I came here to tell you it's over." She says, her voice gentle. 

I lay a hand on her arm as Bellamy's eyes cast downward. "There it is again." He mutters, a sickly sweet tone laced in his voice. "Why do you get to decide it's over?" He meets her eyes and I see a fiery rage in his eyes. 

"We did our part." She says. 

"We?" He asks, his eyes casting to me. 

"Lexa and I." His eyes go back to Clarke. "The Ice Queen is dead. The problem was solved and then you let Pike ruin everything." She hisses, making him scoff. 

"Why are you here, Clarke?" He asks again. 

"Arkadia needs to make things right or Lexa and the 12 clans will wipe us out." She says, and I take in a breathe, trying to quiet my thudding heartbeat in my ears. 

He scoffs, glancing at me before saying, "Let her try."

"Please tell me that going to war is not what you want." She pleads as I turn to sit down at the bench. 

"We've been at war since we landed. At least Pike understands that." His eyes turn to me. "I thought you understood that too." He mutters. 

"I was never on Pike's side." I say, my eyes meeting his before I stand and walk over to him to stand toe-to-toe with him. "I've been trying to rationalise being on your side, protecting you, keeping you safe." I say, my eyes flickering between his. "But I don't think I can anymore, Bell. You're out of control and without me, you would have killed three hundred grounders." I shake my head. "At least you only killed two hundred." I scoff and after a moment of staring at his stone cold face, waiting for an emotion to break through, I spit, "I hate that I love you." There. 

The shock, the pain, the hurt, the sadness. The anger. 

"You just hate it because you know I'm right." He says, sneering in my face. 

I sigh, pressing my lips together in sadness. "No," I say, my tone tired. "I hate it because you aren't the Bellamy that gave me his shirt when I was uncomfortable, or the one that kissed me first, or the one that didn't stop searching for me while I was gone." I cast my eyes downward before looking back up. "Promise me you'll keep Lincoln and Miloch safe." He recoils back slightly, shaking his head in disbelief. 

"You know she can't stay here, Bellamy." Clarke says. 

"Pike will hunt you down and skin you alive, Hailey." He finally says, his voice low and raw with emotion. "Please, stay with me." He asks, as I notice his eyes beginning to well up. 

"I wish I could." I sigh, reaching up to wipe his tears. "But you aren't the Bellamy I used to know." 

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a/n

WOAHHH

almost 2000 words and it was emotional

changed the dialogue up at the end there to make it more about bell and hails

anyway, eat and drink something lovelies !!

Abigail