4 | A break? No.

30 10 6
                                    

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My clumsy fingers tend to fiddle with my emotions like loose threads; a movement so fast it becomes a confusing blur, before the abrupt, rueful pause.

It is maddening- this unasked break,
like the first cough after hours of blissful, serene silence, like the first ripple in a tranquil lake, like the first raindrop on the much-awaited, first sunny day after a long, difficult winter that made me hate snow.

Why? I silently scream. Outwardly, I cough. I sigh. I pace my room, in hope, in desperation. I tap the surfaces. I sing, I dance. This? This is not madness. This is normal, something I am not used to. I am only longing to repeat the movements that truly made me ludic- those, I sorely miss.

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