The Recital of Terrance Reed

Chapter Ten

"Wow, you sound like you guys had his dick before," I added, poking Dennis's chest.

"I did. When I was in grade nine, and he was in grade Eleven," Dennis romantically moaned.

"I did, as well," Tyler added.

I jerked my head back when they both said it. It wasn't because they had sex. It was because it was the age they were they had sex. It seemed like everyone who was gay and young lost their virginity before I did. I stood there and looked at them, gossiping about his dick size.

"So, why did you guys have sex if you were young?" I asked, giving them my furrowed brows.

Dennis laughed. "It's because it's called hookup culture. If you are old, you can't have fun and fool around. Because you'll be old and ugly. So, might as well get your youth out and fuck until we turn 28."

"28 isn't that old," I defended.

"Well, in gay culture, it is," Tyler quickly opposed.

"Isn't that being ageist?"

"Well, no, it's the rules," Dennis mentioned while looking at his dirty nails, seemingly uninterested in the conversation. "We don't make the rules."

What were the rules anyways? Being gay is much more complex than I ever excepted. I thought it was going to be loving and hand-holding. But it's all butt-fucking and not knowing if the other person will like you back. It's starting to seem evident why Kyle had all these old men because they were desperately looking for dates or even hangs because of these "rules" or what they call them-the hook-up culture.

I thought how 28 does not seem old. My youngest uncle is only 35, and he is still pretty young in my eyes. So what is wrong with turning 29 and 30? I liked to keep my guys under 25 because it's a preference, but I didn't know that it was an everyday thing that we younger gays are ageist to these men who are only looking for more after a certain age because of "our youth." Sure, from talking to guys on Man'dr, there were creepy men there, but most seemed nice. I just wasn't interested. Should I be interested in them if the younger generation treats them like dog shit? Maybe.

"Anyways, let's get ready for the party today. I will text the girls! I bet they're tonguing each other by now," Dennis said. "Come on, Tyler. I will see you later, Terrance."

Tyler waved at me, and they both left. They were leaving me standing in the main foyer. Being unable to think of being gay was super complex. It shouldn't be this vexing... but yet it was. I felt a rumble in my pocket, which was my phone.

I opened my phone to see there was a text from Kyle.

My heart popped its pants, and I quickly tucked my phone into my back pocket. All sorts of questions came swirling in my head. What if it was him confessing his love or if he didn't want to see me anymore? What is it? What did he want? God, I can't keep my mind quiet anymore. It's been so loud. Lately, it was like a concert pounding. I could feel my fingers become like Butterfinger chocolate.

The bell rang, startled me, and I quickly ran to my first class. I was not checking my phone. I wanted to open it, but I thought of how I felt when Kyle didn't reply for a week. So maybe, I will do the same. I kept on reading until he decided to come to me and talk instead of text. So I stuck my nose in the air and shuffled towards class. I still feel weird and hurt by Kyle leaving me and not saying anything.

Shut up, Mind. I'm trying to calm down! I yelled in my head.

For the rest of the English class, I could feel my phone get warm like it was waiting to be taken out. It was like super weird. Even holding the study book felt abnormal. Because I know myself and Kyle would be doing the homework. But I haven't read the book since our last session. I had completely fallen behind. Ms. Hawthorne probably knew I was not caught up because she wouldn't even ask me for answers. So I kept my head low and waited for the class to end. Maybe this weekend, I will finish the book. And tell Ms. Hawthorne that Kyle could not perform any work with me and should get a new tutor.